One tooth, Two tooth

There is nothing worse than seeing your baby go through pain and not being able to do anything about it. It is a feeling of utter helplessness and despair. Evan is teething right now and he's having a really rough go of it. Not only does it cause uncomfortable fussiness, but he is also losing sleep, a low grade fever, constipation and loss of appetite. Oh, and did I forget to mention the ear tugging since the mouth and ear share the same nerve endings (learned that one the hard way after an emergency trip to the doctor).

He started teething a little over a month ago and the pain/irritability has come in waves. He's already broke one tooth, but this second one seems to be bothering him worse than the first. He cries and cries all while trying to put any and everything into his mouth to knaw on to relieve the pain. I used to let him chew on my finger, but now that he already has one tooth it hurts me to let him do that. I feel like I've tried everything under the sun to help him from teething tablets to Children's Tylenol to every teether ever made. It's not so much the fussy part that bothers me, its hearing his pain cry and knowing there is nothing I can do until the tooth breaks through the gum. I've even moved on to Children's OraGel. His doctor advised against it since it is easy to over dose on and could lead to a more freaked out baby due to the ease of numbing their whole mouth.

I know this too shall pass, but I'm ready for it to pass now! And the bad thing is this is just the start of it. He still has 31 more teeth to come in which means many more nights of restless sleep and days of feeling helpless. It's hard to take the ups and downs of parenthood in stride, when the love of your life is looking at you with tear filled eyes wanting you to comfort them.

So, if anyone has any advice I'm open to it, short of drugging my baby or getting him drunk (yes, its been suggested several times for me to rub whiskey on his gums or put a thimble full in his bottle and I'm not going to do that). I don't know what I'm going to do when he starts walking and starts getting bruised up from falling and running into things. I may need to ask advice on how to medicate myself for it.

This was a good day when his teeth weren't bothering him as bad. Ah, the good ole days :)

A New Perspective on life

As I start the next challenge in my parenting life, it has given me a new perspective on life.

Evan is finally old enough that he can start eating solids. I thought I would jump up and down for this day, because it would mean that I wasn't breast feeding and I could get back precious hours a day that have gone to pumping or eating. That hasn't been the case.

For one thing, I second guess what I should be feeding him every day. I did as the doctor's and books recommend at first, and started him off on rice cereal. Which was great, and he seemed to like it. I don't exactly know why he likes it, as I tried a spoonful one day and it’s like eating mushy cardboard. No flavor at all! And even though at first he didn't quite get what to do with the semi solid like food in his mouth, he figured it out soon enough and he got to where he would start grabbing at the spoon to feed himself. Every day I would question if I was mixing the cereal the right way. Was I adding too much milk? too much cereal? Was I stuffing him with too much food? Can he tell me when he's full?

Recently I decided that he had learned and grown enough to move on to real food. Pureed vegetables. Yum! Evan's reaction to this new food was less than thrilling. As I sat down to feed him and he eagerly started to grab at the spoon, at the first taste of the pureed green beans his face said it all. It was absolutely disgusting to him. I kept the experience going by giving him another spoonful after another. Finally he decided it was so disgusting he started gagging. Of course, this brought on a whole new set of worries and questions for me. Am I scarring him for life on vegetables? Is it too early to start these types of solids with him? Should we skip green beans all together?

I had to remind myself that people do this all the time and eventually he will have to eat more than just milk. I also had to put myself in Evan's shoes for a minute. For the first 5 months of his life he was only getting liquid as his main source of nutrition. A liquid that always had the same flavor, and was the same day in and day out. Now, he's getting to use his taste buds. Something he is not even aware he has. I'm sure any food that he tried right away, would have that gross, gagging feel to it. I know when I try something new, I'm hesitant to try it and if it even has a slight weird taste my first reaction is to spit it out or gag.

Another down fall to graduating Evan to solids is I feel like I’m giving up that bonding experience that only I can share with him. As it is, I feel like I don’t get enough time with Evan during the week. I also like having something that only he and I can share. This just means that I’m going to have to come up with a tradition that he and I do and keep with it. I think a part of me is sad that he is getting bigger and before I know it he’s going to be walking around doing his own thing. I’m fine with this as long as he works some time in for his mommy.

The great thing about being a parent is you get to experience the world in a new way. You get to relive all the firsts in life, but with a mature head on your shoulders. Even though I question every move I'm making, it is out of love, and I'm really enjoying getting this second take and new prospective on life. I can't wait to experience the first time Evan slides down a park slide, or the first Christmas morning he realizes Santa has left him presents, or the first day of school.

When One Chapter Ends, Another Begins

With the passing of Labor Day this year, I started to think about all the past summer holiday's and what I normally would have been doing with friends. For Labor Day, it was always the Guadalupe River float and camping. The long weekend was full of beer, friends, and lots of laughs and memories. I started to get kind of bummed out about not having the option to do that this year, when I started to reflect on my life and what it has morphed into now.


I always said that I wasn't going to let having kids change my life, this of course was pre-Evan, but in reality having a baby does change your life and there isn't anything you can do about it. I don't think you can fully realize the impact it has on you and your world until you actually become a parent. My entire world right now revolves around Evan, and I am ok with that. I'm ok with it because of how much he has enriched my life. No, I can't just get up and do what I want when I want to, but I have this tiny human being that loves me unconditionally and that makes my world a better place just for him being in it.

I had my time to party and do what I want, and I will have those times back again when Evan gets older but right now it's time to focus on what matters most and that is family. I can still have fun, just in a different more scheduled way. To tell you the truth I have a blast playing with my son and watching him develop. For example, this weekend I was playing peek-a-boo with Evan and watching him squeal in delight every time I moved my hands and he saw my face. He would belly laugh and that in turn would make me laugh. It melted my heart, and I thought to myself, "I don't want to be anywhere else right now than right here."

So my fun has adapted with me, now instead of staying out all night at a happy hour after early release from work I go and have a quick drink with one of my best friends and make the time really count or go to family friendly bbq's where my son can have fun with me but I can still enjoy some adult time.

It's always a little sad when one chapter in your life ends and a new one begins, because it means you’re growing up and things are changing. This is one change and chapter change that I welcome with open arms, especially if that means that in my arms is my beautiful baby boy that thinks I hang the moon.

Love my two John's

A glimpse of what this next chapter in life holds

Time to reconnect

Since having Evan I feel like all my personal relationships with friends and family have taken a back burner. Its not that I don't want to keep up the relationships, it’s that I don't have the time. Before having kids I told myself I wouldn't be one of those people that let their lives spin out of control and lose touch with the people that I once spent my nights and weekends with, but in reality it just happens.


During the work week, I barely have enough energy to get home and take care of Evan and myself, let alone worry about someone else. I have a small window each day on my way home from work to talk on the phone and catch up, but as soon as I walk in the door I kick into my second job of being a mom. Plus, since I don't get to spend much time with E during the week I want to devote my entire energy and being to him.

The weekends are then spent running the errands I couldn't get to during the week and just being with the family.

I'm hoping juggling my personal relationships gets easier with time, but right now I'm doing the best I can to just keep up. Plus, I figured if people are my true friends/family they will understand and it won't affect our relationship. I guess it will be a big test on who the real genuine people are in my life. So, to my friends that read this please accept my apology now for neglecting you. I'll figure this mom thing out soon enough and be back to the old me soon enough.

If only I had known

I’ve decided that there are a lot of things they don’t tell you about parenting and having a baby when you are a first time parent. So, I decided to make a list of these things so I can pass these little known truths along to all the new moms I know.


Labor & Delivery
1. After giving birth your stomach will be very sore. I’m not sure if this is because you’ve carried a basketball around for 9 months or what, but I could barely stand the pressure of the sheets on my stomach the next day.

2. If you have your baby vaginally, you will have your period anywhere from a month to 6 weeks.

3. The hardest part with labor (if an epidural is involved) is the pushing. They make you hold your breath while you push and I thought I was going to pass out.

4. The needle for the epidural really doesn’t hurt. I think this is because by the time you need one the pain from your contractions makes the needle seem like a light poke.

5. You will get nauseous from all of the pain meds and hormones while in labor. So be sure to eat a good meal before you go into the hospital because they will only give you ice chips to suck on while you are in the hospital and in labor.
Nursing

1. This is a HUGE commitment and one that can only come out of love, so be prepared to spend lots of time nursing and pumping (which means getting up earlier and going to be later during the day).

2. You still have to watch what you eat and drink because it can be passed to the baby. I couldn’t eat leafy greens, broccoli, sushi, and certain cheeses. I also couldn’t go 100% back to my caffeine consumption.

3. When you are feeding or pumping out of one breast the other one will leak, so have a towel or disposable feeding pad ready.

4. You still cannot lay on your stomach at night because your breast fill up with milk and will leak all over the place, that, and its very uncomfortable.

5. Just the thought of your baby will cause your breast to leak, so invest in lots of disposable pads.

6. If you drink a lot of alcohol the night before, you will probably need to test your milk and dump it.

7. Pumping and dumping will not clear your milk of alcohol. Your body filters the alcohol through your breast milk like it does the rest of your body.

All about baby

1. Your baby will sneeze a lot the first few weeks of life because their nervous system is still developing. There is nothing wrong with your baby.

2. If after a month your baby isn’t sleeping at least 4 hours at a time, try swaddling or talk to your doctor about acid reflux. We didn’t find out these helpful tid bits until E was about a month and half and it saved my sanity once we did.

3. People will tell you that you can’t put a baby on a schedule and they are lying. The quicker you can get one in place the better for you. Even if your baby doesn’t react right away keep it up, do the same night time routine or feeding routine. Eventually they will pick it up and expect it.

I’ll update this list as I think of things, but I thought this was a good start.

Guilt trip

Now that I am back at work and away from Evan for 12 hours a day, the guilt of being a working mom is starting to kick in. I only get to spend a couple of hours with him at night after I get home before he starts getting tired and I have to put him down to bed. Sometimes I don't even get 2 hours with him depending on how tired he is. This breaks my heart because I just want to sit and cuddle with him all night long. I feel like I'm not being a good mom if I don't spend time with him.
During the day John and his mom send me pics of him playing or hanging out and it tugs at my heart strings. I want to be the one that is home with him making him smile for the camera. I almost feel a twinge of resentment that they are spending time with my son and I'm not. Growing up my mom seemed to always put work before us and I still feel the burn of that. I wanted her to come to my games or to my school's get togethers, but she always had to work. Of course the older I got the more I understood she only did that to give my sister and I the best life possible. I don't remember ever wanting for anything material wise, but I did want my mom and sometimes I couldn't have that. I made a vow to myself that I would never let my kids feel that way and in a way I feel like I'm already breaking that vow. Can you be a working mom and still be there for your kids? I know a lot of moms do it, but I don't want to miss a thing!
On the drive home tonight from work I got a call from John saying that Evan had learned to roll completely over. This is a big milestone (I know there are many more to come) and I missed it. I don't know why, but I actually teared up when I found out about it. On one hand I was happy he learned this new feat, and on the other I was sad I wasn't there to witness it for the first time. Instead, I had to settle with seeing it via the video recording John took of him doing it. How many other firsts am I going to miss because I am at work?
There are also times when I do get home from work and I go to say hi and kiss and hug Evan and he will either ignore me or start crying. I know babies can be finicky, but it breaks my heart. Is he forgetting who I am because I'm gone so long during the day? Can he already get upset with me that I'm not around? Will he love his nana more than me since he sees her every day? These are the crazy questions that go through my mind when I'm feeling this working mom guilt trip. I don't like feeling this way, but I keep telling myself I'm bettering my family's life and that one day when Evan's older he will understand. It still hurts and I still feel like a big bag of poop about it. I keep saying I need to win the lottery, so I'm going to keep playing it. Then I can love on and spend as much time as I went with E and not have one guilty feeling.

Oh Where Oh Where Has All The Fun Gone?

As most of you know John went out of town this weekend to San Antonio for a coaches convention. I know there is some sort of learning going on, but really its just an excuse for all the coaches in Texas to get together and have fun. That fun usually comes in the form of alcohol on the river walk or on the golf course, which is fine, but I started thinking  about the last time I had fun and couldn't even recall the last time I just let loose. I'm talking about the kind of fun that when you wake up the next day you have to replay the events back in your head to make sure you didn't forget anything. The kind of fun where you don't have a care in the world and you feel fancy free.
I understand that now that I'm a mom that kind of fun won't be as often as it was before Evan, but I'm still young and I still want to have fun. Cindy Loper even had it right when she said, "Girls just want to have fun!" I then started thinking that even if I did have the opportunity to have fun, could I really?? One of the major down falls to breast feeding is you still have to watch what you eat and drink. So, I have to ask myself if that one drink really worth pumping and dumping for. Most of the time the answer is no. I also have to ask myself is it worth the headache the next morning when Evan is demanding all of my time and energy and the answer again is no.
Now that I'm back at work I'm also struggling with finding the energy to stay awake past 10 o'clock. I'm constantly calculating the number of hours of sleep I can get if I go to bed at a certain time each night. Which that math alone usually makes me nod off. I remember in college when I could get by on 4 hours of sleep, and often did, and felt fine the next morning. When did I turn into this old woman that cares about the number of zz's I catch?? I'm really hoping things get easier and my energy comes back to me and I can hang out til midnight on the weekend.
I wouldn't mind one night a month though when I can look no in the face and tell it to get lost because I'm going to have fun. I might have to make that my mission. So anyone that wants to join me for my night of fun let me know. Keep in mind you might have to nudge me a time or two to keep me awake, but I will try to hang like I used to.

Back in the Saddle Again

After 12 weeks of maternity leave, I returned to work this week. At first I was feeling very indifferent about going back. The thought of leaving Evan for the day brought tears to my eyes every time I thought about it. Just when things were getting easier and I was finding my groove with him, I had to head back out into the working world. John and I were having such a good time hanging out with the family and really enjoying summer break. But as the saying goes all good things must come to an end.
My first day back was really hard. I cried while feeding E that morning and the entire way into work. I had to redo my make-up in the car before I even walked in to my office. My sadness was soon replaced by comfort. I work with some of the most amazing people and they were genuinely happy I was back. It felt great to be with my girls again and everyone seemed very welcoming. John even brought Evan up to work for lunch that day, so the day wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. On the drive home that night, I felt a lot better about returning into the working world.
The next day when I was getting ready for work, I didn't cry when feeding Evan and only got choked up a little bit when I had to leave. The day seemed to fly by at work and I was starting to feel like the old me. Before I was trying to figure out my role as a mom, and I only felt like a mom. I felt like I had lost the other parts of me, as weird as that sounds. The rest of the week went by faster than I thought, and by the middle of the week I could leave for work in the morning without choking up at all.
I'll admit there are some things that are definitely different than they were before Evan. Like getting up at 5:30a. Before I would sleep as late as I possibly could and get up around 7:15a. I do feel like I can get more done by getting up early and I'm starting to enjoy the little things that I wouldn't have noticed before. Like the way the first rays of sun come through the blinds in the morning, how fantastic the first sip of coffee is, and how silence really is golden in the house before the hum of the day begins. My absolute favorite thing about the mornings is the way Evan smiles at me with his big gummy grin when I lean over his crib to pick him up.
Pumping at work has also been challenging. I have to make myself get up from my desk to do it, and with my job that isn't always the easiest thing to do. I'm in a profession where you have to be available at all times and things can go from calm to hectic in the blink of an eye. I feel weird getting up with my back pack, that my pump is in, two times a day and going down two flights of stairs to the wellness room to pump in a room that is so cold I feel like my milk is going to freeze on contact.
I don't like the fact that I only get two hours at night to love on my angel during the week, but it makes getting off work that much sweeter. I find myself racing home so I can see his face light up when he sees me. And those two hours are the best couple of hours out of my day. It also makes the weekends that much sweeter.
Even though I wish I didn't have to go back to work because I would love nothing more than to spend my days with Evan, it does feel good to be back in the saddle again.

Evan's birth story

I wanted to blog about Evan's birth day so I don't forget the chain of events or how I felt, plus I figured it would be something we could both look back on and smile about.
It all started on April 17th, which was a Saturday. I woke up with what I thought was really strong Braxton Hicks contractions. Before the "fake" contractions felt like a muscle spasm in my stomach and didn't really hurt at all. That morning and the rest of the day was completely different. The pains were in my lower stomach and they hurt. In fact some of them hurt so bad I had to stop and breathe through them. Some even made me cry which I chalked up to being emotional and being ready to have my big boy. The contractions lasted all day Saturday and it made it hard for me to do anything. In my birthing class I learned that you shouldn't go to the hospital until the labor pains were 5 minutes apart and mine were so sporadic ranging from 30 minutes to 5 minutes apart. I later found out from my doctor that I was in actual labor and sometimes labor can be a week process!
Then on April 18th, Sunday morning, I woke up about 5:30a to go to the bathroom. On my way to the bathroom, I felt a trickle of water onto my leg. Since I was half asleep I thought, "did I just pee on myself?" Then I walked a couple more feet and felt another trickle. I went to the bathroom and was walking back to the bedroom and felt yet another trickle. It suddenly hit me that my water had broke. I turned on the light and excitedly said to John, "MY WATER JUST BROKE!!!" John in his sleeping stooper opened his eyes and just looked at me. It then hit him what I had just said and he jumped out of bed and repeated back to me "YOUR WATER JUST BROKE?!!?". We both took a shower and I excitedly put the last remaining things in my hospital bag. I barely remember the drive to the hospital. I had so many thoughts going through my head. Would this hurt? Would I be able to deliver my baby ok? What was my son going to look like? Will my mom make it up from Houston in time? We got to the hospital and entered through the emergency room. Since I had already pre-registered it didn't take the nurse long to admit me and have me wheeled back to a delivery room. Even though I had been in a delivery room a few months earlier when I had been admitted for my kidney infection the room seemed different to me. It looked, smelled, and felt different. My water had continued to break as well which I didn't know could happen. I kept feeling small trickles which the nurse explained would happen until I gave birth.
The nurse had me change into a hospital gown right away and they started hooking me up to machines to monitor me and the baby. They also put this belt looking contraption around my stomach to measure my contractions, which later on would amuse and scare me. The doctor also checked me and said I was at a 2. When the nurse walked out of the room for a minute I remember looking at John with a big grin and saying this is it! We are going to finally meet our son today! We both stared at each other with big goofy grins on our face until the nurse walked in. She commented she hadn't seen such a happy patient in a long time which made me wonder why?? After about an hour the nurse came back into the room and said they were going to start me on pictocin soon to speed up my labor and help me dilate more. The concern of having your water break is bacteria and germs getting to your baby since they don't have the protective bubble around them any more. That little bit of news kind of freaked me out because I didn't know what to expect. Plus, I was worried doing that would make it so I had to get a c-section which I didn't want. Three more hours went by and I was starting to really feel the contractions. I wanted to go as long as I could before asking for the epidural so it didn't slow down labor or wear off.
Finally, about five hours into it I broke and asked for the anesthesiologist to come and give me some drugs. It took about another 45 minutes before he arrived and started to administer the epidural. They explained to me what they would be doing and how they were going to give me the epidural. One thing that surprised me that I didn't know, was the epidural remains in your back for the rest of your labor. The anesthesiologist told John that if he was going to stay in the room while he gave it to me he would have to sit down because he's had too many dad's pass out on him from seeing the needle. Needless to say this really freaked me out! The nurse had me lean forward and hug my pillow and count to five. I expected to feel this excruciating pain, but I didn't. It felt like a little pinch and before I knew it the doctor was done. He explained to me how to push the button if I started feeling pain and the machine it was attached to would deliver more pain medicine. Sweet! I thought. It took about 30 minutes for the epidural too kick in but once it did I didn't feel any more pain. I watched the machine they had hooked up to my stomach and watched as one contraction after another was going off the screen. Another weird thing about the epidural that they don't tell you, is it completely immobilizes your legs. I couldn't feel or move my legs. It was the weirdest feeling ever!
Another 2 hours into it and I was dilated at about a 6 and holding. They decided to bump up the dose of pictocin my body was getting to help move things along even faster. Shortly after they did this I started feeling the contractions again. It was like I didn't even have an epidural in. I kept pushing the button, but no pain relief. I must say I give BIG kudos to the women that deliver all natural with no pain medicine because these contractions hurt like a mother. It felt like something was twisting my stomach inside of me and I could barely catch my breath when a contraction hit. I asked the nurse for more pain medicine and she called the anesthesiologist in again. He finally came into the room about 30 minutes later and said he was going to make a special concoction up just for me. He did his magic, mixed his potions and 30 minutes later I wasn't feeling a thing. I am really glad the pain medicine started to wear off when it did, because after the stronger medicine started to kick in I moved quickly into the last stage of labor. My contractions were back to back and were so strong my stomach stayed tensed and felt really hard to the touch. Before I knew it the nurse said I was at a 10 and I could start pushing. I can't explain how I was feeling at that moment. I was excited to finally get to meet our son but I was scared out of my mind not knowing what to expect.
The room then filled up with nurses and the bed I was laying in was being transformed into a birthing bed. The bottom half of the bed was taken away, handles magically appeared on the side of the bed, and foot stirrups were inserted at the end. The nurse then explained to me how to push and said that most new mom's push anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours! I was determined not to push that long so I got down to business right away. I was surprised at how hard pushing was on my breathing. You basically push for 10 long seconds rest 5 seconds and then push for another 10. I had a really hard time holding my breath that long and not feeling like I was going to pass out. It was also a lot more exhausting that I had thought. John was an excellent coach and supporter and my delivery nurse was amazing.  After about 30 minutes I heard the nurse say he's almost here go get the doctor! I couldn't believe it! I was about to see my son for the first time and I couldn't wait! When the doctor finally got in the room, it was only a second later and John Evan Chilcoat was born at 6:19p weighing 9 pounds 12 ounces and was 22 inches long. As the nurses cleaned him up, I couldn't quit crying because of how happy I was. The best feeling in the world was when they laid him on me for the first time and I got to hold my son. His cries were music to my ears and John and I just embraced our son while we both cried tears of joy. He was healthy and finally here and I was in love.
The next few hours seemed to slow down and I laid in bed staring at this beautiful boy we created. It is hands down the most amazing experience and feeling I've ever felt.

Feeling the contractions, and they HURT!

The hard part of labor, pushing!

Getting cleaned up by the nurses

holding my sweet angel for the first time

A Whole New World

Its been awhile since I last blogged, but I have a good reason for it. I finally had my sweet baby boy! The feeling and experience has been like no other. I absolutely love being a mom and I am so deeply and utterly in love that I don't think there are words in the English dictionary that can express how much I love my son. This new world of parenthood is teaching me something new every day, things that I never knew I would experience or learn. Like how to swaddle a baby like a pro in 30 seconds flat or the art of burping a baby so he doesn't turn into a screaming lunatic 20 minutes after he eats. I've discovered new joys in life that melt my heart like no other. The way Evan smiles at me every morning when I pick him up out of his crib or the way he stares at me like I'm his whole world. With the joy and happiness has also come worries and sadness. I worry about when my son gets older what this world will be like and how I can protect him against all that is bad. Sadness because I want him to stay my little baby, sweet and innocent forever, but knowing that is not possible. I'm also more emotional now. I can't watch a baby being born or a news story about children being mistreated without tearing up. I tear up telling Evan how much I love him because the feeling and emotion is so strong he will never fully understand my love.
With the birth of our son a new family dynamic has been born, that John and I are still trying to figure out. All of our time and energy goes to our son, so figuring out where our time together and our personal time comes together is still a learning situation for both of us. Evan has brought me closer to John and has deepened my love for him. Even if we pick at each other more now, I know its all out of love and that we created the most amazing thing God can give two people.
Being a mom is definitely a whole new world, but I love this world and all that is in it. As the days go by I'm learning who I am as a mom and I look forward to what each day brings me. Today its been the joy of seeing my son pull up into a sit up as he grabs me hands and smiles at me when he does get himself into a sitting position. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

John Evan Chilcoat

I could kiss on his dimples all day long

Baby you Big! You Chunky!

I had an eye opening experience yesterday, that left me feeling scared and wishing I wouldn't have found out the information I did. I had a sonogram appointment. Any other time I would have been jumping up and down, happy to see my baby. Heck, I've been trying to weasel a sonogram out of my doctor for the past 4 months. Yesterday, I was wishing I never walked into that sono room.

First of all, since I'm in my 39th week we couldn't see much at all. The baby was so big the sono tech couldn't even get an accurate measurement of the baby's head b/c it was off of the screen! OFF OF THE SCREEN I SAY! Not something that comforts me because eventually that big ol' noggin has to come out of me! Next she tried to get a measurement of the baby's belly. That too was so big it was OFF OF THE SCREEN! In fact, there really wasn't too much we could get a good view of. We saw part of the femur bone, part of the spine, head, stomach, and that was about it. It wasn’t like the last time I saw my sweet little boy and could actually see him. It was very anti climatic.
The sono tech put all of the measurements that she could get into the computer which then calculated everything and gave us the estimated size of my little one. Are you ready for this?!? 9 pounds 8 oz give or take a pound. Let me say that again.....9 POUNDS 8 OZ GIVE OR TAKE A POUND!! I don't know about you, but to me that is one big baby! One big baby that I'm going to have to deliver into this world! It took everything I could not to get up and run out of that room as fast as I could and go hide (like that would help.)
I then get the lovely call from my doctor letting me know what my options are for delivering the big guy. Even though my due date is still about a week away, they don't want to see me go that far. Every day he stays in my stomach the bigger he gets. Yea! They are also concerned about me going into labor and not being physically able to deliver him. It's not the head they worry about it's his shoulders. She wanted to make me aware that I could go into labor and then have to have a c-section because of this. I really don't want to have a c-section so this bit of news didn't sit comfortably with me. She did say that if I go into labor in the next day or so they would feel better and right now they didn't see why I couldn't stick to my original birth plan.
But, and there is always a but.....if I haven't had him by next Wednesday they want to start talking to me about inducing or scheduling a c-section. Ugh! The two things I wanted to avoid all together slapped me in the face and could be a reality. I didn't sleep well at all last night. I kept thinking about this big baby and how this is all going to go down. I know in the end I will have a beautiful baby boy and that is really all that matters. I have to have faith that the man upstairs knows what he's doing and it will all play out how it is supposed to. I also need to be thankful that I do have a big healthy baby. So with that said, I ask all of you to pray for me and keep your fingers crossed he comes soon! I'm going to try everything I can to bring this on and I hope the next time I write on this blog it's to tell you how wonderful being a mom is! Until then, I leave you with this video that has been inside joke with John and I for most of my pregnancy and it makes me smile and now it fits more than ever. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMcLn6YjsBg

Time is standing still!

Has Father Time taken a vacation and not let me know it? I feel like time is standing still and I've been pregnant for years. With only a week and a half to go before my due date, I want nothing more than for little Evan to get here. I'm over the honeymoon stage of being pregnant and now I'm just here. Uncomfortable, tired, and in limbo.


I want to get out and do things, but when I do I get so tired from carrying around this little bundle of joy that I can't do all I want. People keep telling me to get some rest and enjoy these last final days before Evan gets here, but I can't sleep. I'm up every hour on the hour it feels like. My extra strength Tylenol PM Rapid Release tablets don't even have an effect on me anymore. In fact, last night I took some early in hopes that if I dozed off early it would make up for all the times I'm up in the middle of the night. Instead of getting sleepy, I got a burst of energy! I found myself in the kitchen scrubbing our white grout with a Mr. Clean Magic eraser. Why? I have no idea, but it was a way for me to channel my energy at something.

Last week when John and I went in to see my doctor for my weekly appointment she told me that Evan had dropped as low as he can be without him being out of my body and that she would be surprised if I went to my due date. I'm starting to have my doubts. My two friends that were due a month before me both went past their due dates (a week at that!). I am holding on to the doctor’s words though and hoping Evan will be here any day or minute. I have this weird feeling about the 14th or 16th of April, that he may make his grand entrance then. Their is no scientific reason behind this feeling, but I feel like he will be here on one of those days. Tomorrow is the 14th, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed my intuition is right. This means I will be taking a long walk tonight, maybe eating some spicy food, and some other things I won’t go into detail about.

Please keep your fingers crossed something happens soon, or I just might lose it and go crazy and that is never good! In the meantime, I'll have a talk with Father Time and tell him he's been on vacation long enough!

The count down has officially begun!

With only 3 weeks left to go in my pregnancy the count down has officially begun and I couldn't be happier! I am so ready to meet Evan and start my next journey in life as a mom. I'm also ready to not be pregnant anymore. I really do think God makes the last month and a half of pregnancy uncomfortable to get you ready to take on labor and being a parent to a newborn.

For the most part I've really enjoyed being pregnant and at times felt like I was on top of the world. These last few weeks have been a little rough on me. The crazy twinges of pain I've been getting in my pelvis lately coupled with the sleepless nights have made pregnancy almost unbearable. I find myself contemplating life lately and how different things are going to be. I'm doing my best to take it easy and soak in the quiet moments and enjoy them because I know they will be few and far between. I'm also trying to enjoy every moment I have with John because it will no longer just be me and him. I've been on this emotional roller coaster and I feel antsy. I'm excited and scared of the unknown. I keep hearing how a baby changes everything, and even though I'm ready for that change I'm also nervous for it.
I want to be the best mom I can be to Evan, but it’s weird because I've never been a mom before so how do I know what the best mom is? I know the choices I make in his life when he is younger will affect him his whole life which is a lot of pressure. I can only hope and pray that God will steer me in the right direction, and know that if I do everything in my power to lead by example Evan will grow up right.
It's crazy how your thoughts and concerns in life can change in just a matter of months. I'm ready to meet my sweet little boy and to have the joys and heartache of parenting begin.
Here's hoping these next few weeks pass quickly and Evan is on time!

Big girls don't cry? Oh yes they do!!

I don't know what has been going on with my pregnancy hormones lately, but I will cry at the drop of the hat! I can feel it welling up inside of me and I try my hardest not to, but its like my emotions take over my body and the tears come flowing down like Niagara Falls. I'm usually not a big crier so this new emotion or way of expressing my emotions has me puzzled. Don't even think about watching a sad movie or TV show around me, you will never get me to stop crying. I even cried at reading a friend's blog the other day that was talking about a child losing her battle to cancer and I was at work! I feel like my body is trying to go through a cleansing process and the only way to do that is to cry out all the toxins it finds in my body.


For example, this past Friday night I was sitting at home alone (John was in Austin for the basketball playoffs) and I was bored out of my mind and bummed that there wasn't anything to do. Then I started thinking about the last time I had some fun and couldn't remember the last time. Which lead to my body releasing the damn of Niagara Falls and before I knew it I was sobbing and calling John on the phone to tell him how unfair life is. When I look back at the situation, I laugh, because I get to experience this wonderful thing that only a woman can, and John can never experience. I also have had fun since becoming pregnant, like my shower a few weeks back or my friend’s 30th birthday party, but for some reason I wanted to throw myself a pity party. I can only imagine what John is thinking when I come to him with these crazy sobbing thoughts. I’m blessed he is an awesome husband and always makes me feel better about things and never tells me I'm crazy, which if I was him I would have told myself in a loud voice.

I did find that retail therapy helps with these bouts of sadness, as I shopped the day away Saturday and Sunday. And John being the great hubby that he is came with me on Sunday and let me do my thing without saying a word.

Thank goodness I only have a month left because I don't know if my wallet or John could take any more of me. Until then I've stocked up on Kleenex and told myself to enjoy these last few weeks before my life changes forever.

I'm blessed

I wanted to write this blog to simply state that I am blessed in every way possible and with all the negative that is out in the world these days I wanted to put some good vibes out there.

This past week we've been shown an out pouring of love from friends, family, and coworkers for our little Evan. Last Saturday I had my baby shower with friends and family and was surprised at the turnout and gifts we received from everyone. Things were crazy setting up before the shower and during, but afterwards I sat down to soak it all in and almost started crying happy tears at all the love I felt from everyone. Even friends that couldn’t' be there made their presence known with sweet cards and notes and adorable things for Evan. I know I take for granted the loved ones in my life, and I don't always express my appreciation for the things they do and say to make life better. Today I’m stopping to acknowledge them and to say I LOVE YOU!

I had my work shower yesterday and was blown away again by the outpouring of love for me, my husband, and Evan. I really did have to choke back my happy tears so I didn't look like a fool in front of everyone but I couldn't ask for a better home away from home. It's nice to know and be reminded that there are still good people out there.

I keep saying that I'm going to get better at calling people or writing people letters but life gets away from me and I don't seem to get around to it. Well, today I just want to say thank you and I appreciate each and every one of you that are in my life. I don't know what I would do with out you. I can't wait for Evan to get here and meet everyone that is already supporting and loving him. It makes me have some comfort in this other wise cold and scary thing we call life, to know that he will be coming into a support circle that is warm and loving.

I am definitely blessed!

What the hell have I gotten myself into??

Earlier this week John and I started our Child birth preparation class. I signed up for this class hoping it was going to ease my anxiety about giving birth and being responsible for this little life we are about to have. The class covers everything from labor to breastfeeding to important things to know when you bring the baby home. The class meets once a week for 2 hours for the next six weeks to cover everything. A great class for first time parents right?! That's what I thought.


The first couple of classes cover nothing but labor, which is great because that is what I'm most petrified of. The instructor had us watch up video on natural child birth that literally scared the crap out of me. While I was watching the video I had this sudden urge to burst out into laughter or to start bawling. You know those uncomfortable moments when your body doesn't know how to react so both emotions hit you at the same time. As the video went through each stage of labor (there are 3 by the way) I felt my anxiety growing and growing. In fact I found the video to be a bit on the repulsive side. I know a lot of people out there think child birth is a beautiful thing and it is in a way. It's beautiful that you get this amazing child out of it that you will love forever. The not so beautiful thing is the actual process of giving birth. I shudder just thinking about it.

When the video was over the instructor started going into more detail about the process that took me from being repulsed to being scared beyond words. I was thinking to myself the entire time, I don't want to do this!! I mean why couldn't men have the challenge of giving birth?? They are stronger; they have a higher pain tolerance, and most of the time love and the guts and blood scary stuff. It's not for me and I'm wondering if I'm going to survive Evan's birth. I know women have done this for years, and have survived but that doesn’t' mean I will. I don't have a high pain tolerance and I don't want to lose it in front of everyone.

I had nightmares that night after class about being in labor and I'm nervous about our next class. I keep telling myself it will get better and I have to come to terms with this. I have no choice. I'm just going to keep giving myself pep talks and praying that I don't have a hard labor. The things we do for our kids, and mine isn't even here yet!

No rest for the weary

I'm writing this entry as a plea to Mr. Sandman to stop skipping over me at night, and to bring back the days of the restful and peaceful sleep that I used to get a couple of months ago! Gone are my nights of drifting off to Robyn's World and staying there until morning. Now my nights are filled with waking up six or seven times to deal with various things that annoy me to no end.

As the baby gets bigger my bladder gets smaller (I think I can hold about a capful of liquid now), I'm up at least 4 or 5 times to pee. I thought I was outsmarting my body by not drinking anything an hour or so before I go to bed, but somehow it still manages to produce liquid that I have to pee out. If it was as simple as getting up, going to the bathroom, and then heading back to sleep I'd be ok with that, but it's not. Since I'm much bigger now I have to sleep with a fortress of pillows around me so I can be a little bit on the comfortable side. To get up and walk to the bathroom it takes me kicking or climbing over this wall of pillows and then getting everything back to how it was when I crawl back in bed. This is no easy feat seeing that it's dark and I'm half asleep. Sometimes this rebuilding process wakes me up and gets my brain going and I can't fall back asleep.

I also wake up 2 or 3 times a night several times a week with horrible charlie horses. I've tried everything to keep these awful things at bay, but they seem to come with a vengeance immune to anything I do to stop them. Eating a banana before bed doesn't help. Drinking water doesn't help. Stretching doesn't even help. And these charlie horses aren't child's play cramps; no they are the mother of all charlie horses. The kind that make you whole leg tense up and your toes curl like your being electrocuted or something. In fact, I bet getting electrocuted would hurt less. They are so bad that the next day I almost walk around with a limp because my muscles are so sore. My calf muscles feel like I put in an hour on the stair master at the gym without the results to prove it.

As of a couple days ago, I'm getting woke up with a new symptom, pelvic pain. I really don't know how to describe it other than I feel like where my legs meet my torso are going to unhinge from my body and that I'm going to have Evan at any minute. I have this pain during the day as well, but for some reason it intensifies at night. I've been reading in my pregnancy book that this may be caused by lightening, which is when the baby starts to drop in your pelvis and your tissues in your pelvis begin to soften to prepare your body for labor. Can you say fun times!?!

I'm surprised I get any sleep at all with all of these things going on. I've learned how to put concealer on like the pros to cover up the bags under my eyes. And if you are a mom-to-be reading this, a concelear with a green tint helps conceal dark bags so you look refreshed, something I found out while trying out various concelear products. I know all of these disturbances at night is God's way to prepare me for having a newborn at home, since I've heard your up on average every 2 to 3 hours. I know when Evan is here, I won't mind waking up to his sweet little face. For the time being I'm annoyed at all these side effects and just want a descent night’s sleep.

She's a brick house!

I know most of my entries have been about food or gaining weight, so if you’re looking to read something different do not read on! I am feeling absolutely huge lately! And it doesn't help when I get comments from people saying "Wow! You’re really getting BIG!" or "Oh my goodness, your showing BIG TIME!" I mean, how am I supposed to respond to that!??

John and I have joked from the beginning of this pregnancy about getting big and chunky. For all you Madagascar 2 fans out there, there is a scene in the movie where one hippo is telling the girl hippo why he is attracted to her. He has this song and dance that he does around her singing, "Girl you big! You chunky!" So that is what John does to me. And before anyone gets all upset, it’s not in a rude way. He does it in a joking funny way. Anyway, last night I was taken a little by surprise when I was standing in the kitchen cooking dinner. He poked his head out of the bedroom to say something to me, and the next thing I heard was, "Dang! You are getting huge!" My first thought was, I'll show you huge! I just responded to him stating the obvious that I was carrying HIS baby and it’s not like I was huge just because. He promptly followed it up with he didn't mean it in a bad way, he just hadn't noticed how big my stomach was getting before and that he thought I looked beautiful (sigh, I would normally take that compliment at face value but since he just called me huge I didn't believe one word).
I'll admit I feel huge! It’s getting harder and harder to move around. Getting in and out of bed is a chore in which I have to roll to one side and use that momentum to get up, getting up and down from the couch is hard too. John can thank me for his awesome bicep muscles because I reach for his hand every time to pull my big butt up. Yesterday when I was straightening up the guest room upstairs and putting away pictures I tried squeezing by the dresser and bed post, which in the past hasn't been a problem at all. This time I got stuck and couldn't squeeze by. I had to crawl on the bed and scoot over to the other side. Which made me feel like a rollie pollie.
My size small maternity clothes that I bought at the first of my pregnancy don't really even cover my belly and I'm constantly tugging on the shirts to pull them down. I'm starting to get scared that little Evan is getting so big it will be impossible to deliver him the natural way. I know I’m going to be in pain, but if I keep growing at this rate I may not survive giving birth to him!
I keep meaning to post pics of myself, but I'm afraid it will really hurt my self esteem. The crazy thing is I have another month and a half of growing! At least I know that Evan is healthy and is gaining the weight he should and for that I'd grow to hundreds of pounds if need be.

Mineral wanted

For the past month or so I have been dragging through my day and wondering where all my energy has gone. I knew making a baby would drain you of energy, but it's like I hit a brick wall of a sudden and could barely get up the energy to open my eyes. I had my question answered the other day during my doctor appointment. I had my blood drawn for a glucose test to see if I had gestational diabetes and I guess they tested it for other things, because I got a call from my doctor saying I was anemic. This means my iron levels are low.


I've been taking iron supplements lately but I guess they aren't doing the job and I need to up the milligrams on my iron intake and start eating foods rich in iron (ties back to the diet plan my doc put me on too). Not only does being anemic make you tired, but it also plays a factor in mood swings. I'll admit that lately I've been a little on the irritable side and I get annoyed easily. My poor husband has been the main culprit catching my mood swings. I know I'm being moody sometimes but there is nothing I can do to stop it.

Iron or the lack of it will also make you forgetful. This explains why I've left my car running in the store parking lot (see earlier blog) and also in my garage for 2 hours. Yep, that's right 2 hours! Thank goodness I went out there to put some bottles in the recycling bin b/c it probably would have run all night. I've also had a case or two of forgetting people's name that I know. And I'm not talking about a random person; I'm talking about family members and friends. It's been bad, and I feel awful about it when a brain fart hits.

Who would have known that one little mineral could wreak so much havoc on ones life? I've started taking my supplements in the morning and at night now and eating as much broccoli that I can get my hands on. I won't go into details about what that does to your body, but there are side effects of taking iron supplements.

I know that one day when Evan is mad at me for something; I can say to him that I loved him so much I made sacrifices for him before he was even born. That should end any argument right?!? LOL!

Say What?!?!

One word a girl never wants to hear, let alone a pregnant girl, is the word D-I-E-T! I was slapped hard across the ears with this word last week when I went in for my usual monthly check up. One of the first things they do at the doctor's office when you first go in to see them is take your blood pressure and weigh you. I've never been scared or worried about this at any doctor’s office, as I've never had to struggle with weight. I owe that to my incredibly lean genes given to me by mom and dad. For those of you that know me, I love junk food! And lately I haven't come across a desert that I don't like or can say no too.

So, I thought nothing of it when I got on the scale and the nurse took my weight and wrote it down. When the doctor walked into the waiting room I noticed she had a packet in her hand but I thought it was some info regarding the next 2 months of my pregnancy. Boy was I wrong!

She started out the conversation with what I call the "manager sandwich". This is where you get good news, followed by bad news, followed by good news. "Your doing great and tracking well so far in your pregnancy," said my doc. "But you've put on more than 5 pounds in the past month, and it's standard protocol for us to put anyone that's gained more than 5 pounds on a diet plan."

Do what?!? I'm sorry what did you just say? A diet plan!! What the hell!?!

She then continued with "You are still under the amount of weight we'd like to see you put on, but if you keep going down this path you won't be." I must admit that I felt like I got hit by a two by four. You NEVER want to tell any woman she is fat especially if she is 7 months pregnant! Granted she didn't say I was fat but that's how I heard it, and I wanted to crawl under the table and hide for the rest of my pregnancy. I feel big as it is and now I'm hearing my own doctor tell me I need to go on a diet plan! She then handed me the packet that listed out my "new" diet. It was all things I've seen and heard before. I need cut out sugars and fat and replace them with healthy alternatives like fruits and vegetables. And before I get everyone worked up, my doctor did say she was by no means telling me to starve myself or even cut back on the amount of food I'm eating. She just wanted to see me make healthier choices.

I will admit that I could make healthier choices in the foods I eat. For some reason I can't get enough sugar during this pregnancy. I want ice cream, and cake, and pies and if you even mention the word candy bar in my presence you better be prepared to hand over a Snickers or Twix bar!

So, from here on out I'm going to make a conscious effort to eat healthier. Not saying that I won't eat any sugar, because that's just ludicrous, but I will cut back on it and start reaching more for apples and broccoli. Yum!

If I only had a brain!

I feel like lately I go through the day only functioning on the left side of my brain, or maybe just the right. Whatever side is NOT the dominant side of my brain is the side that is in control right now. I've heard people say that when you are pregnant you suffer from "pregnancy brain" or as my sister-in-law put it to me so eloquently one day, a baby will take your boobs and your brain from you! I thought that I may be able to skip this little side effect (as the devil on my left shoulder laughs) because for the first and most of the second trimesters I seemed to be doing quite well. In fact, I was really on top of things. I realize now that it was my brain rebooting from not having to slosh around in Chardonnay or Merlot every night, my favorite dinner and weekend drink.

I wish I could say that it was little things that I forgot that anyone could forget, but its not. For example, this weekend I met up with my friends for a girl’s lunch and decided to do a little shopping afterwards. I pulled up to the store and proceeded to go in without a care in the world. About 20 minutes later when I was leaving the store and walking out to my car, I started to dig around in my purse for my car keys. I couldn't find them and immediately started to panic that I had locked them in the car. I got out to my car and said a little prayer that the door would be unlocked and was pleasantly surprised that it was. Not only was my car unlocked but I realized I left the keys in the ignition and my car was running the entire time! I couldn't believe that I had just got out of my car and didn't even think to turn it off or anything! Thank goodness no one drove off in it and that I even made it into a parking spot.
I also forget conversations and important information at the drop of a hat. I've started keeping a note pad by me at work where I write everything down in fear that I'll forget something. The other day I was ordering a gift online and when it came to the screen where I had to put my billing address in, I couldn't remember our zip code. I'm ashamed to admit this, but I had to pull out my driver’s license and look at my address to remind myself of it.
Thank goodness the times when I've made big forgetful mistakes I’ve been by myself and can laugh at it, but I'm just waiting for the day I forget my name or forget to completely get dressed in the morning before going to work. The only thing I can liken my new pregnancy brain too is Alzheimer’s, which I'm beginning to wonder if I'm going to get that later on in life with some of the brain farts I've been having.
So, if you hear about some crazy pregnant lady on the news that almost got shot for walking into the wrong house thinking it was hers or that got taken to jail because they showed up at an office building and swore she worked there, just take pity on me and know that I'll have my brain back soon enough (at least I hope).

Must get sleep!

I thought I had gotten over the hump of being tired all of the time when I made it through the first trimester. It was almost like a magic spell was cast on me because as soon as I started the second trimester all my energy came back to me and I started to feel like my normal self again. Well, as normal as I could feel with a growing belly and my body going through changes that amazed me every day. I almost had this extra energy to get things done which came in handy with getting the nursery ready and the house cleaned :)

No sooner that I started to feel like I was on a roll and things were good; I start the third trimester and the energy zapping fairy has come to visit me once again to cast her evil spell on me. I have been so tired lately that by the time I get home from work I just want to collapse on the floor and not move. Last night the thought of putting away the dishes in the dishwasher made me so tired I had to immediately go lay down on the couch and not move for the rest of the night until I went to bed at 8:30. Yep, that's right 8:30! And that was pushing it I could have gone to bed as soon as I got home.

I'm writing this entry right now at work because I'm so tired that if I don't keep my mind and hands busy I might fall asleep at my desk sitting up. Of course the exhaustion could be from the fact that I get up at least 3 times a night to use the restroom and another 3 because I'm uncomfortable and need to swing my big ol' belly over because the side of my body that I've been lying on has either gone to sleep and is completely numb from my weight or my back can't take the pressure on it anymore. Even with my fortress of pillows around me I can't get comfortable enough to sleep the entire night through.

I think God has a woman go though this to prepare you for the newborn baby your about to have. I know that once Evan is here that there will be many sleepless nights and I'll be waking up every 2 hours or more, but at least then I'll be able to sleep on my belly and roll over without having to count to three and fling my arms to get the momentum going.

Too many choices, not enough time!

This past Monday on our days off from work John and I decided to go register for our baby shower items. Some of you may be thinking, how fun! I know I was. Unfortunately, it was the furthest thing from fun that I’ve experienced.

We arrived at the first location, Babies R Us, and sat down with the registration desk to give them our information and get the scanner to begin. As we sat there waiting for the lady to input all of our information we started looking around at the sheer magnitude of the store. For those of you that have never been in there, it’s about the size of a grocery store, maybe a little bigger, broke out into different sections like safety, furniture, clothing, etc. I couldn't wrap my brain around how one little baby would need all of the things this place had to offer. Before giving us our scanner the lady gave us a brief run down of everything and a first time registry list. I kid you not she told us there were bathrooms in the back of the store, along with water and Gatorade and mat's to stretch out on. LOL! John and I both looked at each other with a "what-have-we-gotten-ourselves-into" look.
I thought I had come prepared with a list of my own, along with some notes on the best and safest products that were bigger and would be used every day, like strollers and car seats. Boy was I wrong! Within the first 5 minutes of walking into the first section of the store, baby safety, I was lost. There are so many things this store had to offer that I didn't even know existed and to make matters worse, there were about 20 choices for each thing. Did you know that they make mirrors to put in your back window so you can look in your rear view mirror to make sure you baby is still alive in his/her car seat!?! I didn't, and it made me paranoid that I was going to be a bad mother because I didn't know this bit of information.
As we walked through the store it only got worse. Next came the bottle and pacifier area and words can't describe the holy mecca of options offered for those. How am I supposed to know if the baby will want a silicone or a latex nipple or a bottle that's straight up and down or one that has a bend in it?? I have never been more lost in a store in my life and John wasn't holding up that well either. All of the choices and uncertainty started to wear on both of us and we started to get short with one another, which didn't help matters.
A quarter of the way in, by the stroller section, all John and I could do was look at each other and laugh. I felt like I was in an episode of the Twilight Zone and everything around me was a foreign object I had never seen before. Thankfully that broke the tension between John and I and we decided to joke around the rest of the way through the store. We did finally finish registering and both of us were physically and mentally drained.
We then went on to Target to register, which almost felt like a cake walk compared to all the options Babies R Us had to offer. It was a little bit more enjoyable, but not much.
I went into it thinking this would be as fun as it was when we registered for our wedding shower items, but it was so far from it! When we were done registering at both places we went home and both laid down and took a long nap. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when Evan gets here, but I'm hoping the overwhelming, panicky feeling subsides a little by then.

A Whole New World

As my pregnancy moves into its third trimester, I am starting to realize I am in a whole new world. Not that I haven't felt this "new world" feeling before, but now it seems incessant. Before there were days that I would wake up and not feel pregnant and even times that I forgot I was pregnant (what can I say, you kind of lose your mind to the baby growing inside you!?!). Not anymore. My belly seems to get in the way of everything, but in a good way. The other day I was using it as table to rest my mug of hot chocolate on. Complete strangers feel compelled to ask me questions about the pregnancy like, how far along I am and what the sex of the baby is. Sometimes I like to have fun with them. The other day in my office building elevator a guy got on and started asking me how much longer I had to go. To make things interesting I asked him "how much longer to go for what?" He then clarified by saying with the pregnancy. I looked at him with the straightest face I could and said "I'm not pregnant!" The look on his face was hilarious. I quickly told him I was kidding, but enjoyed the fact that I've moved way out of the 'looking fat or bloated' stage to 'holy cow that woman is pregnant!' stage.


Baby Evan is moving around all of the time now. Before he seemed to have set times of the day, mostly later at night but now it’s all day. And it’s not the little flutters that it was before. Nope, now he is letting us know he is in there. One of my favorite things to do is to put something light on my stomach like my cell phone or sunglasses and watch it bounce around from his movements. There have been several times that he's kicked so hard that the phone or glasses have fallen off my belly. As I sit here and write this, Evan is practicing his dance moves with a kick and a spin here and there. It's a great feeling!

We also finally picked out a name, as you can see. Evan Lane Chilcoat. We pondered for months over several names and finally narrowed it down to our top 3. For a week we called the baby by a different name to see what sounded right. First it was Cullen, then Evan, then Landon. There was something about Evan that seemed to just fit. I really liked the fact that Evan is a form of John, and since John wanted a John jr. originally, he in a weird way got that. It also means young warrior, so hopefully that means our little Evan will be strong and healthy.

I'm counting down the days until little Evan is here and a different New World starts. Until then, I'll wander through this one and hope this heartburn and waking up at all hours of the night eventually subsides.

Me at 25 weeks

me at 26 weeks