Every now I then I'll stumble across an article that is so profound and meaningful that I have to share it. Below is one by Tony Schwartz, the president and CEO of The Energy Project. It is entitled: The Twelve Most Important Lessons I've Learned. They are as follows:
1.
The more we know about ourselves, the more power we have to behave better. Humility is underrated. We each have an infinite capacity for self-deception — countless unconscious ways we protect ourselves from pain, uncertainty, and responsibility — often at the expense of others and of ourselves. Endless introspection can turn into self-indulgence, but deepening self-awareness is essential to freeing ourselves from our reactive, habitual behaviors.
I feel like this is an ongoing life lesson. Becoming a wife and mom has taught me a lot about myself and things I didn't even know were possible that I had lying deep inside of me. To this day I'm still learning about myself and trying to better me everyday. There are days that I don't feel like I'm doing or being the best I can be, but I think those days are the ones that push us to really look within on how to deal with the curve balls life throws at us.
2.
Notice the good. We each carry an evolutionary predisposition to dwell on what's wrong in our lives. The antidote is to deliberately take time out each day to notice what's going right, and to feel grateful for what you've got. It's probably a lot.
Sometimes it's easier to focus on the bad that's going on in our lives than the good. I know for me it can be a downward spiral once I let that negative focus take a hold of me. I start picking apart everything that is wrong and before I know it, I'm mad at everything and everyone in my life. I start wanting to question God and what his plan is for me and my family and my actions to others aren't that great. I'm trying to make a effort each day to thank God for what I do have in my life and try to keep a positive outlook on life. Is that hard to do when Evan is having a major melt down, I have a million things to do at home and work, and other outside factors seem to be weighing me down? Heck, yes! But in every negative there are postives. One quote I try to keep in mind is "If God will lead you to it, he will lead you through it."
3.
Let go of certainty. The opposite isn't uncertainty. It's openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.
We've all heard the old saying the only thing that is certain in life is paying taxes and dying. As much as that saying makes me want to roll my eyes and smack the person that is saying it, it's true. This life lesson is hard for me to grasp. I've always been a structured scheduled person. I like to have a plan and then stick with it. It's hard for me to fly by the seat of my pants, which is why John is such a perfect compliment to me. He takes the outlook of let life happen how it will and roll with it. Being with him for the past 12 years has let me let go a little. I still have my days when I want a plan, but I've found the greatest moments and memories that I've made in my life happen when I least expect it and aren't planned at all.
4.
Never seek your value at the expense of someone else's. When we're feeling devalued, our reactive instinct is to do anything to restore what we've lost. Devaluing the person who made you feel bad will only prompt more of the same in return.
I really feel like if more people took this lesson to heart, the world would be in a much better place. For some reason we like to attack others to make ourselves feel good. I've been guilty of it, and in the end you just feel worse about yourself. Now that I'm a mom, I think about how my actions effect Evan and how I would feel if someone treated him the way I'm treating someone and it really brings a new perspective to life.
5.
Do the most important thing first in the morning and you'll never have an unproductive day. Most of us have the highest energy early in the day, and the fewest distractions. By focusing for a designated period of time, without interruption, on the highest value task for no more than 90 minutes, it's possible to get an extraordinary amount of work accomplished in a short time.
I feel most productive in the morning (at least after my first cup of coffee). I've been practicing this life lesson since I started my working career and found that it works like a charm every time.
6.
It's possible to be excellent at anything, but nothing valuable comes easy and discomfort is part of growth. Getting better at something depends far less on inborn talent than it does the willingness to practice the activity over and over, and to seek out regular feedback, the more precise the better.
Although it can be hard to hear and act on constructive criticism, it really does help you grow as a person. Working at BCG, an environment that fosters immediate feedback, I've learned some important professional lessons that have carried over into my personal life. Those lessons has made me a better employee, wife, mother, and friend.
7.
The more behaviors you intentionally make automatic in your life, the more you'll get done. If you have to think about doing something each time you do it, you probably won't do it for very long. The trick is to get more things done using less energy and conscious self-control. How often do you forget to brush your teeth?
I reall like this lesson because this is where my OCD/over planning works to my advantage. I have certain actions and behaviors that I do out of habit that have worked in my favor. This doesn't mean that I've completely mastered this lesson, but one that try to continue to foster and make work in my favor.
8.
Slow down. Speed is the enemy of nearly everything in life that really matters. It's addictive and it undermines quality, compassion, depth, creativity, appreciation and real relationship.
I have to remind myself of this on daily basis. I rush to get ready in the morning, rush to get Evan to daycare, rush to get dinner done at night, and rush to get through the next task that I'm doing. Evan has really opened my eyes to this. Have you ever just went on a walk with a 2 year old? If not you should, because you will learn so many things. Evan will stop to look at everything. The grass, a bug, a crack in the sidewalk, and the list goes on and on. This is a true example of really taking in life and enjoying all it's wonder. So, on days that I feel like I'm rushing through things I try to go on a walk with Evan to remind me to slow down and smell the flowers.
9.
The feeling of having enough is magical. It rarely depends on how much you've got. More is rarely better. Too much of anything eventually becomes toxic.
The "keeping up with the Jones'" view on life is destroying us. Everyone is always trying to one up each other. I've fallen victim to this too. I've wanted the designer purses, the "it" outfit of the season, or the latest and greatest car but in the end all of those things don't matter. In becoming mom I've realized it's the life memories and family that you build that really makes a difference in our lives. People don't say that they wish they would have bought the new ipad before they died, no, instead they wish they had more time to be with loved ones.
10.
Do the right thing because it's the right thing to do, and don't expect anything in return. Your values are one of the only possessions you have that no one can take away from you. Doing the right thing may not always get you what you think you want in the moment, but it will almost always leave you feeling better about yourself in the long run. When in doubt, default to calm and kind.
This comes back to the basic rule of treating people how you would like to be treated and do what you would want to be done if you were in their shoes. Again, I think about Evan and how I would want people to treat him and it has changed my actions on a lot of things.
11.
Add more value in the world than you're using up. We spend down the earth's resources every day. Life's primary challenge is to put more back into the world than we take out.
I used to think being "green" was a silly hippy thing that didn't really effect me. Boy was I wrong! What we do to the environment today will effect our children's tomorrow. I think little things add up. I've started recycling, picking up trash when I see it if I'm taking a walk, using green cleaning products, and using reusable water bottles. None of these things are major, but if everyone did them think of the positive impact it would have on this world.
12.
Savor every moment — even the difficult ones. It all goes so fast.
True that! I look back on my life and can't believe how quickly time has flown by. I can't believe that I've been with my husband for over a decad, or that I graduated from college almost 10 years ago, or that my son is two!! All of these things have come with their ups and downs and I wouldn't change anything about them because it's brought me to where I am today. So, go out their and seize the day and make the best of it! I know I'm going too!
