Evan is finally old enough that he can start eating solids. I thought I would jump up and down for this day, because it would mean that I wasn't breast feeding and I could get back precious hours a day that have gone to pumping or eating. That hasn't been the case.
For one thing, I second guess what I should be feeding him every day. I did as the doctor's and books recommend at first, and started him off on rice cereal. Which was great, and he seemed to like it. I don't exactly know why he likes it, as I tried a spoonful one day and it’s like eating mushy cardboard. No flavor at all! And even though at first he didn't quite get what to do with the semi solid like food in his mouth, he figured it out soon enough and he got to where he would start grabbing at the spoon to feed himself. Every day I would question if I was mixing the cereal the right way. Was I adding too much milk? too much cereal? Was I stuffing him with too much food? Can he tell me when he's full?
Recently I decided that he had learned and grown enough to move on to real food. Pureed vegetables. Yum! Evan's reaction to this new food was less than thrilling. As I sat down to feed him and he eagerly started to grab at the spoon, at the first taste of the pureed green beans his face said it all. It was absolutely disgusting to him. I kept the experience going by giving him another spoonful after another. Finally he decided it was so disgusting he started gagging. Of course, this brought on a whole new set of worries and questions for me. Am I scarring him for life on vegetables? Is it too early to start these types of solids with him? Should we skip green beans all together?
I had to remind myself that people do this all the time and eventually he will have to eat more than just milk. I also had to put myself in Evan's shoes for a minute. For the first 5 months of his life he was only getting liquid as his main source of nutrition. A liquid that always had the same flavor, and was the same day in and day out. Now, he's getting to use his taste buds. Something he is not even aware he has. I'm sure any food that he tried right away, would have that gross, gagging feel to it. I know when I try something new, I'm hesitant to try it and if it even has a slight weird taste my first reaction is to spit it out or gag.
Another down fall to graduating Evan to solids is I feel like I’m giving up that bonding experience that only I can share with him. As it is, I feel like I don’t get enough time with Evan during the week. I also like having something that only he and I can share. This just means that I’m going to have to come up with a tradition that he and I do and keep with it. I think a part of me is sad that he is getting bigger and before I know it he’s going to be walking around doing his own thing. I’m fine with this as long as he works some time in for his mommy.
The great thing about being a parent is you get to experience the world in a new way. You get to relive all the firsts in life, but with a mature head on your shoulders. Even though I question every move I'm making, it is out of love, and I'm really enjoying getting this second take and new prospective on life. I can't wait to experience the first time Evan slides down a park slide, or the first Christmas morning he realizes Santa has left him presents, or the first day of school.
