Coming full circle

After a wonderful Mother's Day weekend with my family, I couldn't help but contemplate my mom and how she raised us. There were many times growing up that I didn't understand the things my mom said and did, but now that I'm a mom the appreciation I have for those things has grown immensely.

The things that I once thought she did because she didn't understand me couldn't be further from the truth. Armed with all this motherly knowledge and perspective on life, I couldn't help but get a little emotional.

The highs and lows of parenting are never easy and everyone goes through it. Even our parents that seemed so out of touch with reality go through it. And for the record, I've realized the only person that was out of touch with reality was me. I was the typical teen that thought they knew it all. I've always had a smart mouth and I know there were times that my mouth and the words that came out of it were downright hateful to my mom. Looking back, my mom did what she did out of love and wanting what was best for me. This is exactly what I do for my boys.

I know there will be times that they will think the same thing about me, and I can only hope that they have the same revelation as I did one day. There have been many times that I've called my mom worried, angry, stressed, or happy about something one of the boys did and needed her advice on it. Sometimes I can hear her smiling through the phone as she explains to me that this is just phase and will pass soon. Never has she thrown my upbringing in my face, and I must admit I admire her for that. I can only hope I act the same way when the boys call me after they've started their own families.

I've made it a point to let my mom know how appreciative I am to her and how sorry I am for all the stress and angst I put her through. And in true mom fashion, she's assured me it was all worth it. I love this new relationship we have and I wouldn't trade it for the world. It's a little startling when you realize you've come full circle with any parent. When a once fuzzy memory becomes crystal clear and you see things from a different view. I  hope everyone gets to experience this with their parents.

I guess the point of this post is to say we should appreciate our moms (and dad's) every day of the year, not just one. It's crazy how much of my mom comes out in me in my daily interactions with the boys. I love it because I feel like, in that, other generations in my family are coming out too. I never met my grandmother (on my mom's side) but I'm sure some of her is coming out in me as it did in my mom. It helps me appreciate how far I've come in life and know how far I have to go. And through this journey, I'm glad I have my mom by my side. After all, she's the only one that loved me at first sight with an unconditional love that only mom's know. For this, I'm eternally grateful.

Four!!!

Every year I write a letter to my boys on their birthday to help preserve the year in our memories and to see how far they've come. Evan just turned four so below is his fourth birthday letter.

Evan,

They say time flies when you are having fun, and this couldn't be more true with you. This past year has been a blast and the joy you bring to our family's life is immeasurable. I can say with utmost certainty you are a little boy and not the little baby you once were. Your wild imagination and funny comments on life bring a fresh perspective to our everyday living. I've seen you grow into a caring and loving son, brother, and friend and I can't tell you enough how proud I am of you.

Some of your favorite things are:

• Anything superhero. You especially love Batman, but if there is a good guy out there that fights crime and stands for justice you love them.
• Mac-and-cheese. You could eat this every day for every meal and be just fine.
• Baseball. You love to play the game and watch it with your daddy. You also love to tell us how you are going to play for the Rangers one day.
• Legos, especially the superhero lego sets. I love how you want me to build them for you so you can play with them and set up imaginary scenarios in your head of how they all play together.
• Your evening show after your bath and before bed, and the "snack plate" that goes with it.
• Reading. You've always loved story time and with each year that passes your love for it grows. You've now memorized your favorite books, and love to "read" them to daddy and me.
• Your cousins, Anthony and Braden. You light up when you are around them and can't get enough of them.
• Putting all of the pillows from the couch on the floor and then jumping into them while acting out what you would do to the "bad guys" if you were batman.
• Friday's with Nana. You live for Friday's when you get nana all to yourself and you guys do cool things like garden or go to story time at the library. You always ask, "How many more days until nana's going to get me?" Even if you just left her house.
• Chuck E. Cheese. If you could live at one of the locations you would.

One of my favorite things to do is to sit back and watch your wild and creative imagination play things out. I've lost count of the number of times you've made me laugh before bed telling me how you are batman and all the acrobatics you do while acting out your pretend scenarios. I also love how you tell me you are a big boy now and that you "got this" when I try to help you put on your shoes or get in the car. I also love how literal you are and the hilarity that ensues from that. My favorite was the time you asked me if you could go up and visit with the man in the moon and take him a snack with such sincerity I didn't have the heart to tell you it was only a figure of speech.

And even though you are getting to be a big boy you still love to snuggle and give us hugs and kisses. My heart grows each time that you follow up a simple "I love you" with a "So MUCH!" You and Logan have created this bond that involves a special language that only the two of you understand. You love to play hard and fight hard with him and I can see the lasting bond between the two of you that I always wanted.

I'm amazed at how smart you are and how much you want to learn. From writing your name to counting to 100 you are always surprising me with your new found knowledge. I know you are going to do big things in life and be awesome at them!

I look forward to what the next year holds, as I know it will be as amazing as you are!

I love you my little buggie, E-weezy, bubba boo!

Mommy

 

Happy to be Four

 

Having fun at your favorite place Chuck E Cheese with one of your favorite people, Braden

Showing off one of your Lego creations