Head Bangers Ball

As Evan gets older his behavior sometimes perplexes me. There have been several times that he's done something that catches me so off guard or comes out of the blue that I just stop and stare at him and wonder if he is from this planet. His latest odd behavior happens any time that he gets mad. He will find the nearest hard object, whether it be the tile floor, a wall, or my knee (yay me!) and start banging his head on it. And when I say banging, I'm not talking about light little taps I mean the kind that leaves little red circles on his head and sometimes light bruises. This is especially fun when we have to go out in public and people ask what happened to his head. How do you explain that your child has anger management issues and likes to inflict pain on himself without seeming like you've spawned a devil baby??

When he first did this I thought maybe it was on accident or he was just so frustrated he didn't know what to do. But after the 10th time I started to worry that something was really wrong with him. I mean who does that!?!? So, yesterday I took Evan in for his 15 month check up and decided to bring it up to his doctor to get her input. Much to my relief she said it was very normal for toddlers to do this and not to worry (easier said than done). She explained that Evan is realizing every day his independence and that he has a choice on what he can do, which doesn't always align with what John and I want him to do. Since his vocabulary only consists of a few words the only other way he knows how to communicate is through his actions. The doctor then asked if he gets a reaction out of me when he does start banging his head, which I replied yes to. I mean, I don't want him to knock himself out or do something even more serious like give himself brain damage. The doctor suggested that I ignore that behavior next time because all I'm doing is reinforcing negative behavior by giving him the attention he wants. She explained that after he sees that nothing will come out him acting that way and after he hits his head hard enough he'll stop doing it.

At that very moment a light went off in my head, and I felt stupid. Why didn't I think of this? And what else am I doing that is reinforcing bad behavior? Geesh, this parenting thing can be hard!!

As if Evan understood what the doctor told me, that night he decided to test me. I took him upstairs to give him his bath before bed like we do every night. However, he decided he didn't want to go to bed and wanted to still play, which brought on a monumental temper tantrum. As expected, he started banging his head on the bathroom tile all while crying at the top of his lungs. Normally I would have picked him up and tried to comfort him but Dr. Smart's words were ringing in my ears so I walked out of the bathroom and into the game room. As you can imagine that only made him more mad so he walked into the game room and threw himself on the floor and started banging his head again. So, I walked into his bedroom and didn't even make eye contact. This happened two more times before he decided to give up and just sit there and cry. Once he calmed down a little I got down on the floor next to him and explained that it was bath time and he could play tomorrow. What a difference that made! He calmed down and even crawled in my lap for a hug! To that I thought, maybe this parenting thing isn't that hard after all (I kid, I kid!)

I got the fever!

I thought it would take me a whole other year before I said these words, but I have baby fever! The weird thing is it just crept up on me like a thief in the night. One day I was wondering if I'd ever want to have a second child and the next I had this overwhelming desire to give Evan a little brother or sister.

I'm not sure why my feelings and desire on baby #2 has changed. Perhaps it's the crazy amount of women having babies right now. I feel like every day I see a picture on facebook or get an announcement in the mail of a new life that was brought into this world. Or maybe it's the fact that I've finally settled (as much as possible) into being a mom. Evan brings me so much joy and love that it's addicting and I want to keep the feelings around forever. It may also be the fact that I'm turning 31 in a few months, which is not old by any means, but when you start thinking about the length of time it can take to conceive added on top of the 9 months of pregnancy I'll be close to 32 or 33. And since my cut off age for having kids is 35, I feel Father Time tapping on his wrist looking at his watch for me. Especially if we want to keep a third child an option (right now it isn't, so everyone can breathe a sigh of relief).

I also started thinking that I want Evan close to his brother or sister and I really feel the more years between ages the harder it is to relate to one another. I know there are instances that will prove me wrong, but given my own personal experience I'm convinced of this. I'm also not a big fan of the newborn stage so would like to move past it as soon as possible while I'm a spry young thing (insert eye roll here).

John has been a fantastic father and seeing him interact with Evan melts my heart. I'll just be a big ol' pile of putty for baby #2 and I can't wait! So, we may start trying within the next couple of months and see if God will bless us with a second angel. Hopefully we will be so lucky!

Here are some pictures from our first family vacation, that I love.

Evan's first time in the ocean and he loved it

How cute is this!?! Love those boys!