Big girls don't cry? Oh yes they do!!

I don't know what has been going on with my pregnancy hormones lately, but I will cry at the drop of the hat! I can feel it welling up inside of me and I try my hardest not to, but its like my emotions take over my body and the tears come flowing down like Niagara Falls. I'm usually not a big crier so this new emotion or way of expressing my emotions has me puzzled. Don't even think about watching a sad movie or TV show around me, you will never get me to stop crying. I even cried at reading a friend's blog the other day that was talking about a child losing her battle to cancer and I was at work! I feel like my body is trying to go through a cleansing process and the only way to do that is to cry out all the toxins it finds in my body.


For example, this past Friday night I was sitting at home alone (John was in Austin for the basketball playoffs) and I was bored out of my mind and bummed that there wasn't anything to do. Then I started thinking about the last time I had some fun and couldn't remember the last time. Which lead to my body releasing the damn of Niagara Falls and before I knew it I was sobbing and calling John on the phone to tell him how unfair life is. When I look back at the situation, I laugh, because I get to experience this wonderful thing that only a woman can, and John can never experience. I also have had fun since becoming pregnant, like my shower a few weeks back or my friend’s 30th birthday party, but for some reason I wanted to throw myself a pity party. I can only imagine what John is thinking when I come to him with these crazy sobbing thoughts. I’m blessed he is an awesome husband and always makes me feel better about things and never tells me I'm crazy, which if I was him I would have told myself in a loud voice.

I did find that retail therapy helps with these bouts of sadness, as I shopped the day away Saturday and Sunday. And John being the great hubby that he is came with me on Sunday and let me do my thing without saying a word.

Thank goodness I only have a month left because I don't know if my wallet or John could take any more of me. Until then I've stocked up on Kleenex and told myself to enjoy these last few weeks before my life changes forever.

I'm blessed

I wanted to write this blog to simply state that I am blessed in every way possible and with all the negative that is out in the world these days I wanted to put some good vibes out there.

This past week we've been shown an out pouring of love from friends, family, and coworkers for our little Evan. Last Saturday I had my baby shower with friends and family and was surprised at the turnout and gifts we received from everyone. Things were crazy setting up before the shower and during, but afterwards I sat down to soak it all in and almost started crying happy tears at all the love I felt from everyone. Even friends that couldn’t' be there made their presence known with sweet cards and notes and adorable things for Evan. I know I take for granted the loved ones in my life, and I don't always express my appreciation for the things they do and say to make life better. Today I’m stopping to acknowledge them and to say I LOVE YOU!

I had my work shower yesterday and was blown away again by the outpouring of love for me, my husband, and Evan. I really did have to choke back my happy tears so I didn't look like a fool in front of everyone but I couldn't ask for a better home away from home. It's nice to know and be reminded that there are still good people out there.

I keep saying that I'm going to get better at calling people or writing people letters but life gets away from me and I don't seem to get around to it. Well, today I just want to say thank you and I appreciate each and every one of you that are in my life. I don't know what I would do with out you. I can't wait for Evan to get here and meet everyone that is already supporting and loving him. It makes me have some comfort in this other wise cold and scary thing we call life, to know that he will be coming into a support circle that is warm and loving.

I am definitely blessed!