A Whole New World

Its been awhile since I last blogged, but I have a good reason for it. I finally had my sweet baby boy! The feeling and experience has been like no other. I absolutely love being a mom and I am so deeply and utterly in love that I don't think there are words in the English dictionary that can express how much I love my son. This new world of parenthood is teaching me something new every day, things that I never knew I would experience or learn. Like how to swaddle a baby like a pro in 30 seconds flat or the art of burping a baby so he doesn't turn into a screaming lunatic 20 minutes after he eats. I've discovered new joys in life that melt my heart like no other. The way Evan smiles at me every morning when I pick him up out of his crib or the way he stares at me like I'm his whole world. With the joy and happiness has also come worries and sadness. I worry about when my son gets older what this world will be like and how I can protect him against all that is bad. Sadness because I want him to stay my little baby, sweet and innocent forever, but knowing that is not possible. I'm also more emotional now. I can't watch a baby being born or a news story about children being mistreated without tearing up. I tear up telling Evan how much I love him because the feeling and emotion is so strong he will never fully understand my love.
With the birth of our son a new family dynamic has been born, that John and I are still trying to figure out. All of our time and energy goes to our son, so figuring out where our time together and our personal time comes together is still a learning situation for both of us. Evan has brought me closer to John and has deepened my love for him. Even if we pick at each other more now, I know its all out of love and that we created the most amazing thing God can give two people.
Being a mom is definitely a whole new world, but I love this world and all that is in it. As the days go by I'm learning who I am as a mom and I look forward to what each day brings me. Today its been the joy of seeing my son pull up into a sit up as he grabs me hands and smiles at me when he does get himself into a sitting position. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

John Evan Chilcoat

I could kiss on his dimples all day long