Evan's birth story

I wanted to blog about Evan's birth day so I don't forget the chain of events or how I felt, plus I figured it would be something we could both look back on and smile about.
It all started on April 17th, which was a Saturday. I woke up with what I thought was really strong Braxton Hicks contractions. Before the "fake" contractions felt like a muscle spasm in my stomach and didn't really hurt at all. That morning and the rest of the day was completely different. The pains were in my lower stomach and they hurt. In fact some of them hurt so bad I had to stop and breathe through them. Some even made me cry which I chalked up to being emotional and being ready to have my big boy. The contractions lasted all day Saturday and it made it hard for me to do anything. In my birthing class I learned that you shouldn't go to the hospital until the labor pains were 5 minutes apart and mine were so sporadic ranging from 30 minutes to 5 minutes apart. I later found out from my doctor that I was in actual labor and sometimes labor can be a week process!
Then on April 18th, Sunday morning, I woke up about 5:30a to go to the bathroom. On my way to the bathroom, I felt a trickle of water onto my leg. Since I was half asleep I thought, "did I just pee on myself?" Then I walked a couple more feet and felt another trickle. I went to the bathroom and was walking back to the bedroom and felt yet another trickle. It suddenly hit me that my water had broke. I turned on the light and excitedly said to John, "MY WATER JUST BROKE!!!" John in his sleeping stooper opened his eyes and just looked at me. It then hit him what I had just said and he jumped out of bed and repeated back to me "YOUR WATER JUST BROKE?!!?". We both took a shower and I excitedly put the last remaining things in my hospital bag. I barely remember the drive to the hospital. I had so many thoughts going through my head. Would this hurt? Would I be able to deliver my baby ok? What was my son going to look like? Will my mom make it up from Houston in time? We got to the hospital and entered through the emergency room. Since I had already pre-registered it didn't take the nurse long to admit me and have me wheeled back to a delivery room. Even though I had been in a delivery room a few months earlier when I had been admitted for my kidney infection the room seemed different to me. It looked, smelled, and felt different. My water had continued to break as well which I didn't know could happen. I kept feeling small trickles which the nurse explained would happen until I gave birth.
The nurse had me change into a hospital gown right away and they started hooking me up to machines to monitor me and the baby. They also put this belt looking contraption around my stomach to measure my contractions, which later on would amuse and scare me. The doctor also checked me and said I was at a 2. When the nurse walked out of the room for a minute I remember looking at John with a big grin and saying this is it! We are going to finally meet our son today! We both stared at each other with big goofy grins on our face until the nurse walked in. She commented she hadn't seen such a happy patient in a long time which made me wonder why?? After about an hour the nurse came back into the room and said they were going to start me on pictocin soon to speed up my labor and help me dilate more. The concern of having your water break is bacteria and germs getting to your baby since they don't have the protective bubble around them any more. That little bit of news kind of freaked me out because I didn't know what to expect. Plus, I was worried doing that would make it so I had to get a c-section which I didn't want. Three more hours went by and I was starting to really feel the contractions. I wanted to go as long as I could before asking for the epidural so it didn't slow down labor or wear off.
Finally, about five hours into it I broke and asked for the anesthesiologist to come and give me some drugs. It took about another 45 minutes before he arrived and started to administer the epidural. They explained to me what they would be doing and how they were going to give me the epidural. One thing that surprised me that I didn't know, was the epidural remains in your back for the rest of your labor. The anesthesiologist told John that if he was going to stay in the room while he gave it to me he would have to sit down because he's had too many dad's pass out on him from seeing the needle. Needless to say this really freaked me out! The nurse had me lean forward and hug my pillow and count to five. I expected to feel this excruciating pain, but I didn't. It felt like a little pinch and before I knew it the doctor was done. He explained to me how to push the button if I started feeling pain and the machine it was attached to would deliver more pain medicine. Sweet! I thought. It took about 30 minutes for the epidural too kick in but once it did I didn't feel any more pain. I watched the machine they had hooked up to my stomach and watched as one contraction after another was going off the screen. Another weird thing about the epidural that they don't tell you, is it completely immobilizes your legs. I couldn't feel or move my legs. It was the weirdest feeling ever!
Another 2 hours into it and I was dilated at about a 6 and holding. They decided to bump up the dose of pictocin my body was getting to help move things along even faster. Shortly after they did this I started feeling the contractions again. It was like I didn't even have an epidural in. I kept pushing the button, but no pain relief. I must say I give BIG kudos to the women that deliver all natural with no pain medicine because these contractions hurt like a mother. It felt like something was twisting my stomach inside of me and I could barely catch my breath when a contraction hit. I asked the nurse for more pain medicine and she called the anesthesiologist in again. He finally came into the room about 30 minutes later and said he was going to make a special concoction up just for me. He did his magic, mixed his potions and 30 minutes later I wasn't feeling a thing. I am really glad the pain medicine started to wear off when it did, because after the stronger medicine started to kick in I moved quickly into the last stage of labor. My contractions were back to back and were so strong my stomach stayed tensed and felt really hard to the touch. Before I knew it the nurse said I was at a 10 and I could start pushing. I can't explain how I was feeling at that moment. I was excited to finally get to meet our son but I was scared out of my mind not knowing what to expect.
The room then filled up with nurses and the bed I was laying in was being transformed into a birthing bed. The bottom half of the bed was taken away, handles magically appeared on the side of the bed, and foot stirrups were inserted at the end. The nurse then explained to me how to push and said that most new mom's push anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours! I was determined not to push that long so I got down to business right away. I was surprised at how hard pushing was on my breathing. You basically push for 10 long seconds rest 5 seconds and then push for another 10. I had a really hard time holding my breath that long and not feeling like I was going to pass out. It was also a lot more exhausting that I had thought. John was an excellent coach and supporter and my delivery nurse was amazing.  After about 30 minutes I heard the nurse say he's almost here go get the doctor! I couldn't believe it! I was about to see my son for the first time and I couldn't wait! When the doctor finally got in the room, it was only a second later and John Evan Chilcoat was born at 6:19p weighing 9 pounds 12 ounces and was 22 inches long. As the nurses cleaned him up, I couldn't quit crying because of how happy I was. The best feeling in the world was when they laid him on me for the first time and I got to hold my son. His cries were music to my ears and John and I just embraced our son while we both cried tears of joy. He was healthy and finally here and I was in love.
The next few hours seemed to slow down and I laid in bed staring at this beautiful boy we created. It is hands down the most amazing experience and feeling I've ever felt.

Feeling the contractions, and they HURT!

The hard part of labor, pushing!

Getting cleaned up by the nurses

holding my sweet angel for the first time

A Whole New World

Its been awhile since I last blogged, but I have a good reason for it. I finally had my sweet baby boy! The feeling and experience has been like no other. I absolutely love being a mom and I am so deeply and utterly in love that I don't think there are words in the English dictionary that can express how much I love my son. This new world of parenthood is teaching me something new every day, things that I never knew I would experience or learn. Like how to swaddle a baby like a pro in 30 seconds flat or the art of burping a baby so he doesn't turn into a screaming lunatic 20 minutes after he eats. I've discovered new joys in life that melt my heart like no other. The way Evan smiles at me every morning when I pick him up out of his crib or the way he stares at me like I'm his whole world. With the joy and happiness has also come worries and sadness. I worry about when my son gets older what this world will be like and how I can protect him against all that is bad. Sadness because I want him to stay my little baby, sweet and innocent forever, but knowing that is not possible. I'm also more emotional now. I can't watch a baby being born or a news story about children being mistreated without tearing up. I tear up telling Evan how much I love him because the feeling and emotion is so strong he will never fully understand my love.
With the birth of our son a new family dynamic has been born, that John and I are still trying to figure out. All of our time and energy goes to our son, so figuring out where our time together and our personal time comes together is still a learning situation for both of us. Evan has brought me closer to John and has deepened my love for him. Even if we pick at each other more now, I know its all out of love and that we created the most amazing thing God can give two people.
Being a mom is definitely a whole new world, but I love this world and all that is in it. As the days go by I'm learning who I am as a mom and I look forward to what each day brings me. Today its been the joy of seeing my son pull up into a sit up as he grabs me hands and smiles at me when he does get himself into a sitting position. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

John Evan Chilcoat

I could kiss on his dimples all day long

Baby you Big! You Chunky!

I had an eye opening experience yesterday, that left me feeling scared and wishing I wouldn't have found out the information I did. I had a sonogram appointment. Any other time I would have been jumping up and down, happy to see my baby. Heck, I've been trying to weasel a sonogram out of my doctor for the past 4 months. Yesterday, I was wishing I never walked into that sono room.

First of all, since I'm in my 39th week we couldn't see much at all. The baby was so big the sono tech couldn't even get an accurate measurement of the baby's head b/c it was off of the screen! OFF OF THE SCREEN I SAY! Not something that comforts me because eventually that big ol' noggin has to come out of me! Next she tried to get a measurement of the baby's belly. That too was so big it was OFF OF THE SCREEN! In fact, there really wasn't too much we could get a good view of. We saw part of the femur bone, part of the spine, head, stomach, and that was about it. It wasn’t like the last time I saw my sweet little boy and could actually see him. It was very anti climatic.
The sono tech put all of the measurements that she could get into the computer which then calculated everything and gave us the estimated size of my little one. Are you ready for this?!? 9 pounds 8 oz give or take a pound. Let me say that again.....9 POUNDS 8 OZ GIVE OR TAKE A POUND!! I don't know about you, but to me that is one big baby! One big baby that I'm going to have to deliver into this world! It took everything I could not to get up and run out of that room as fast as I could and go hide (like that would help.)
I then get the lovely call from my doctor letting me know what my options are for delivering the big guy. Even though my due date is still about a week away, they don't want to see me go that far. Every day he stays in my stomach the bigger he gets. Yea! They are also concerned about me going into labor and not being physically able to deliver him. It's not the head they worry about it's his shoulders. She wanted to make me aware that I could go into labor and then have to have a c-section because of this. I really don't want to have a c-section so this bit of news didn't sit comfortably with me. She did say that if I go into labor in the next day or so they would feel better and right now they didn't see why I couldn't stick to my original birth plan.
But, and there is always a but.....if I haven't had him by next Wednesday they want to start talking to me about inducing or scheduling a c-section. Ugh! The two things I wanted to avoid all together slapped me in the face and could be a reality. I didn't sleep well at all last night. I kept thinking about this big baby and how this is all going to go down. I know in the end I will have a beautiful baby boy and that is really all that matters. I have to have faith that the man upstairs knows what he's doing and it will all play out how it is supposed to. I also need to be thankful that I do have a big healthy baby. So with that said, I ask all of you to pray for me and keep your fingers crossed he comes soon! I'm going to try everything I can to bring this on and I hope the next time I write on this blog it's to tell you how wonderful being a mom is! Until then, I leave you with this video that has been inside joke with John and I for most of my pregnancy and it makes me smile and now it fits more than ever. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMcLn6YjsBg

Time is standing still!

Has Father Time taken a vacation and not let me know it? I feel like time is standing still and I've been pregnant for years. With only a week and a half to go before my due date, I want nothing more than for little Evan to get here. I'm over the honeymoon stage of being pregnant and now I'm just here. Uncomfortable, tired, and in limbo.


I want to get out and do things, but when I do I get so tired from carrying around this little bundle of joy that I can't do all I want. People keep telling me to get some rest and enjoy these last final days before Evan gets here, but I can't sleep. I'm up every hour on the hour it feels like. My extra strength Tylenol PM Rapid Release tablets don't even have an effect on me anymore. In fact, last night I took some early in hopes that if I dozed off early it would make up for all the times I'm up in the middle of the night. Instead of getting sleepy, I got a burst of energy! I found myself in the kitchen scrubbing our white grout with a Mr. Clean Magic eraser. Why? I have no idea, but it was a way for me to channel my energy at something.

Last week when John and I went in to see my doctor for my weekly appointment she told me that Evan had dropped as low as he can be without him being out of my body and that she would be surprised if I went to my due date. I'm starting to have my doubts. My two friends that were due a month before me both went past their due dates (a week at that!). I am holding on to the doctor’s words though and hoping Evan will be here any day or minute. I have this weird feeling about the 14th or 16th of April, that he may make his grand entrance then. Their is no scientific reason behind this feeling, but I feel like he will be here on one of those days. Tomorrow is the 14th, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed my intuition is right. This means I will be taking a long walk tonight, maybe eating some spicy food, and some other things I won’t go into detail about.

Please keep your fingers crossed something happens soon, or I just might lose it and go crazy and that is never good! In the meantime, I'll have a talk with Father Time and tell him he's been on vacation long enough!

The count down has officially begun!

With only 3 weeks left to go in my pregnancy the count down has officially begun and I couldn't be happier! I am so ready to meet Evan and start my next journey in life as a mom. I'm also ready to not be pregnant anymore. I really do think God makes the last month and a half of pregnancy uncomfortable to get you ready to take on labor and being a parent to a newborn.

For the most part I've really enjoyed being pregnant and at times felt like I was on top of the world. These last few weeks have been a little rough on me. The crazy twinges of pain I've been getting in my pelvis lately coupled with the sleepless nights have made pregnancy almost unbearable. I find myself contemplating life lately and how different things are going to be. I'm doing my best to take it easy and soak in the quiet moments and enjoy them because I know they will be few and far between. I'm also trying to enjoy every moment I have with John because it will no longer just be me and him. I've been on this emotional roller coaster and I feel antsy. I'm excited and scared of the unknown. I keep hearing how a baby changes everything, and even though I'm ready for that change I'm also nervous for it.
I want to be the best mom I can be to Evan, but it’s weird because I've never been a mom before so how do I know what the best mom is? I know the choices I make in his life when he is younger will affect him his whole life which is a lot of pressure. I can only hope and pray that God will steer me in the right direction, and know that if I do everything in my power to lead by example Evan will grow up right.
It's crazy how your thoughts and concerns in life can change in just a matter of months. I'm ready to meet my sweet little boy and to have the joys and heartache of parenting begin.
Here's hoping these next few weeks pass quickly and Evan is on time!

Big girls don't cry? Oh yes they do!!

I don't know what has been going on with my pregnancy hormones lately, but I will cry at the drop of the hat! I can feel it welling up inside of me and I try my hardest not to, but its like my emotions take over my body and the tears come flowing down like Niagara Falls. I'm usually not a big crier so this new emotion or way of expressing my emotions has me puzzled. Don't even think about watching a sad movie or TV show around me, you will never get me to stop crying. I even cried at reading a friend's blog the other day that was talking about a child losing her battle to cancer and I was at work! I feel like my body is trying to go through a cleansing process and the only way to do that is to cry out all the toxins it finds in my body.


For example, this past Friday night I was sitting at home alone (John was in Austin for the basketball playoffs) and I was bored out of my mind and bummed that there wasn't anything to do. Then I started thinking about the last time I had some fun and couldn't remember the last time. Which lead to my body releasing the damn of Niagara Falls and before I knew it I was sobbing and calling John on the phone to tell him how unfair life is. When I look back at the situation, I laugh, because I get to experience this wonderful thing that only a woman can, and John can never experience. I also have had fun since becoming pregnant, like my shower a few weeks back or my friend’s 30th birthday party, but for some reason I wanted to throw myself a pity party. I can only imagine what John is thinking when I come to him with these crazy sobbing thoughts. I’m blessed he is an awesome husband and always makes me feel better about things and never tells me I'm crazy, which if I was him I would have told myself in a loud voice.

I did find that retail therapy helps with these bouts of sadness, as I shopped the day away Saturday and Sunday. And John being the great hubby that he is came with me on Sunday and let me do my thing without saying a word.

Thank goodness I only have a month left because I don't know if my wallet or John could take any more of me. Until then I've stocked up on Kleenex and told myself to enjoy these last few weeks before my life changes forever.

I'm blessed

I wanted to write this blog to simply state that I am blessed in every way possible and with all the negative that is out in the world these days I wanted to put some good vibes out there.

This past week we've been shown an out pouring of love from friends, family, and coworkers for our little Evan. Last Saturday I had my baby shower with friends and family and was surprised at the turnout and gifts we received from everyone. Things were crazy setting up before the shower and during, but afterwards I sat down to soak it all in and almost started crying happy tears at all the love I felt from everyone. Even friends that couldn’t' be there made their presence known with sweet cards and notes and adorable things for Evan. I know I take for granted the loved ones in my life, and I don't always express my appreciation for the things they do and say to make life better. Today I’m stopping to acknowledge them and to say I LOVE YOU!

I had my work shower yesterday and was blown away again by the outpouring of love for me, my husband, and Evan. I really did have to choke back my happy tears so I didn't look like a fool in front of everyone but I couldn't ask for a better home away from home. It's nice to know and be reminded that there are still good people out there.

I keep saying that I'm going to get better at calling people or writing people letters but life gets away from me and I don't seem to get around to it. Well, today I just want to say thank you and I appreciate each and every one of you that are in my life. I don't know what I would do with out you. I can't wait for Evan to get here and meet everyone that is already supporting and loving him. It makes me have some comfort in this other wise cold and scary thing we call life, to know that he will be coming into a support circle that is warm and loving.

I am definitely blessed!