Hit Me Baby One More Time!

Most of the time Evan is a little angel and is as sweet as can be, but there are some times that the devil takes hold of him and he turns into a monster. Thankfully these Dr. Hyde moments have been at the house and I can deal it with him without being embarrassed or judged. But, with any luck streak it ran out and lately this not so nice side of Evan has been coming out in public.


I've read about it in every toddler development book and shouldn't have been surprised when it happened, but I was. My son is a hitter. I have no idea why he decided he wants to hit people, pets, and things but he has and I'm dumbfounded by it. It started happening a few weeks back when he'd get upset at me or John for not letting him do what he wanted, he'd walk up and hit us. I'd promptly put him in time out and tell him no hitting, to which he'd cry even more but then walk over and give us a hug. In my mind, this was making progress and I had the problem under control.

Fast forward to Evan's Kindermusik class this past Saturday when Dr. Hyde decided to pay a little visit. We had just walked into class, when Evan decided to walk up to a baby girl that was 6 months old and hit her in her head. For no reason. I was mortified and jumped up immediately to discipline Evan, but the look on the mom's face said it all. And it didn't just stop with just the one baby. Half way through the class Evan decided he didn't like how his friend Michael was shaking his maraca and hit him. Thankfully the mom of Michael was more understanding and told me it was ok while giving me a sympathetic look. Sigh! I'm almost embarrassed to see what this week's class is going to bring because I don't want Evan to be labeled as the class bully.

I then took Evan to John's softball game this past Sunday because the weather has been so nice and he adores being outside. As with any softball field there are kids everywhere, which meant more opportunities for Dr. Hyde to rare his ugly head. Anytime Evan sees a kid he is drawn to them and runs right up. Most of the time it's ok and I'm usually thankful that he's so outgoing, but not this time. The first kid he saw sitting on the bleachers he decided to run up and hit. So, the rest of the night was spent with me trying to play buffer between Evan and any kid he saw. It was exhausting.

Everything I've read said that this is just a stage and it will pass, but I'm ready for it to be over now. It's embarrassing and I don't want people to think this is how we raise Evan. I've been working with him to try and channel his anger or whatever this feeling is inside of him that is making him hit into other ways but it's hard to do with a 17 month old. Hopefully as his language skills develop he'll get better with emotions, but until then I'll be taking every preventative measure necessary to keep Dr. Hyde at bay.

Frugalista

I've always been one to admire a great do-it-yourself project or craft and secretly wish I was the next Martha Stewart (minus the insider trading jail stint she did). Time, lack of motivation, or plain old creative block usually gets the best of me and I don't normally make my own things. The only real thing I can claim that does save our family money that I love is cooking and even then I don't cook as much as I'd like to.

Having a child did something to me. I now try to be frugal where I can. It's like the instant I had Evan not only did it trigger my hormones to go ape shit it also released a hormone in my brain to appreciate DIY projects and actually try them myself. And so far I've enjoyed every project I've actually tried and they've all turned out pretty good.
My best friend recently turned me on to this website called pintrest, which if you haven't checked it out YOU MUST DO SO NOW! And yes that's an order! Pintrest is the mecca of all crafty, do-it-yourself, cook to your heart's content websites the web has to offer. It allows you to see what other people have posted and if you like it you can post it on one of your boards which is like a saved file for all things cool. I'll admit, I'm addicted to this site like crack heads are to crack. I love seeing all the cool things that are out there to make and I'm determined to make everything I've pinned to a board.

My first try at one of my pintrest finds was Oreo cheesecake cups, which turned out divine. I made them for a get together my friend had and ate about half of them the night I made them. If you'd like to try them too (and believe me you do) you can find the recipe here http://daintychef-krissy.blogspot.com/2011/09/oreo-cheesecake-cups.html

My next pintrest try fuel my frugalista side and will save me money for years to come, homemade baby wipes. If you're like me, you are probably thinking, what? homemade baby wipes? That's right folks; you can make your own wipes that are even better than the store bought kind. I was a bit skeptical myself, but once I saw how easy they were to make I got right to it and loved the outcome so much that I don't think I'll be buying wipes from the store ever again. And since I did graduate from college, I had to put the pen to the paper just to see how much it would save me and was even more surprised. A package of wipes is roughly around $3.50 which we would use about one package every week or so(you don't even want to get me started on the number of arguments John and I have had on the number of wipes he uses at one diaper change). That averages out to about $182 a year just in wipes. Multiply that over 5 years and you are spending close to $1,000 for basically a piece of wet paper towel. I don't know about you, but I could do something a lot more fun with $1,000 than wipe someone's butt with it (pun intended).
So, if your feel the same way I do check out this website http://www.homemademamas.net/2010/07/homemade-baby-wipes.html and start making your own wipes. You can thank me later :)

Next on my list of DIY to do's homemade Febreeze (http://fakeitfrugal.blogspot.com/2011/07/fake-febreeze.html) and I'm actually really excited about it!
Look out world there is no stopping this frugalista!!



Every parent does it!

Every parent does it....and if they tell you they don't they are liars! What am I referring to you might be wondering? Comparing your child to someone else's. This is something that I'm not proud of and that I fight really really hard not to do, but against all my will and might it still happens.
I can't tell you how many sleepless nights I spent tossing and turning about when my sweet little Evan would walk. Friend's that had baby's around the same time I had Evan kids were walking and in some instances running! I had visions of carrying Evan across the stage at his high school graduation because he still hadn't learned to walk. Every month starting at 11 months, I would do everything I could to encourage him to get up and take off. Nothing. I read countless books and talked to his doctor about it. I felt like he teased me by scooting around holding on to the couch or his walker, but never really letting anything go to walk on his own. Then one day while I was talking with John's mom he just stood up and walked over to her. Wha?!? When did this happen? Did I really just see that? Now he is walking all over the place, and I could kick myself for every worrying so much about it.
I wish I could say that was the only thing I worried about because of comparing him to other kids, but it's not. When a friend's baby was eating solids, I thought why doesn't Evan like solids? When he did start eating solids and I saw my best friend's son eating vegetables, I thought why won't Evan eat vegetables? When out eating with Evan my husband and I struck up a conversation with a couple sitting next to us at a table who also had a 16 month old, but not just any 16 month old one that could sign like pro. The couple explained they started teaching their baby sign language at 3 months old. Why hadn't I done that? The list goes on and on and it's almost shameful when I really think about it.
The latest thing I was comparing Evan too has to do with his vocabulary. Evan is very smart (if I do say so myself) and understands almost everything you say to him. I can ask him to bring me something, put something away, to go somewhere and he'll do it but as far as him talking to you with words you can understand it ain't happening. He can mimic your words when he's focused but doesn't just say them on his own (other than dadda and nana). My comparing mind kicked in and I started comparing him to other children which lead to me wondering if he is developing ok which lead to more sleepless nights. I decided this has to end. I can't keep doing this to myself or my child.
Evan has hit all his developmental milestones just fine. He will do it when he is ready and I can't...CAN'T....compare him to anyone else because he is his own person. This epiphany, if you will, is what lead me to writing this entry. To remind myself that I have to enjoy every moment as it is with Evan and he will be fine. Evan is Evan not anyone else. So note to myself: Stop comparing and Enjoy!

Daycare or Not To Daycare- That Is the Question

Now that Evan is 16 months and can walk and eat almost anything, we find ourselves in a major parenting intersection. Should we put Evan in daycare or not? I for one thought this decision was going to be easy when we got to this point in Evan's life, but it's far from it.


On one hand I want Evan to learn the social aspect of life that daycare can bring. How to interact with kids his age, share toys, and learn from his surroundings. I'd like him to see that there is life outside the walls of our house and his nana's. I constantly question if I'm teaching or showing him the right things to set up him up for a successful future. Should I be reading more books? Singing more songs? Exploring more with him? These questions may seem silly but they eat me up inside. I want the best for Evan and want him to have every opportunity that life can give him.

Right now John's mom watches Evan, which has been a blessing. It was comforting going back to work after maternity leave knowing he was in such loving hands. I love getting my daily picture text of Evan from Patricia (a.k.a nana) and hearing how their day went at the end of each work day. However, with that has come a personal struggle. Grandparents are known to spoil their grandchildren and that theory has proven true with us. It's also been a different situation since it's John's mom watching E on how I deal with conflicts that arise. I have to walk a very thin line, which can be tricky sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change or move that line for anything but it can be challenging.

So when the day came that John and I realized that Evan could go to daycare I thought the decision would be an easy one, but I'm finding it hard to let go. Now that E is older he is very aware of strangers and does not hesitate to shake his head no or start crying if he doesn't like you or want you around him. For instance, we tried getting back involved in our church and taking Evan to the church daycare so we could go to the Sunday morning service. When we would drop him off they would give us a pager that goes off in case something goes wrong and they need you to come back to the nursery. Every single Sunday for a month straight the pager would go off and I would head to where he was only to find him hysterically bawling, face red, sweating, and scared to death. You can only imagine how that made me feel. I worry that transitioning Evan to daycare will be a really difficult one for him. And I know this sounds extreme but I wonder if the change/move will scar him for life (hey, I didn't say that my concerns weren't irrational).

Evan is also one of the lightest sleepers I know. In fact, we have to turn a fan on in his room when we put him down to sleep because any little noise will wake him up and sleep time will be over. You can only imagine how little sleep John and I got when he was sleeping in his bassinet in our room when he was a newborn. So, when I found out that all of the kids have nap time where they are to fall asleep on a mat I thought to myself there is no way in hell that is happening for Evan. My mind started racing instantly wondering if my child would ever nap again. And for all the mom's out there we know how little sleep can affect the mood of our child. Evan, for one, grows a second head that snares and growls at you. It's quite scary!

I'm not so irrational to not know that thousands of kids have made this transition and at some point Evan will get used to it. It's that initial hump that keeps me up at night, scared to make the move.

If it's this hard to make a parenting decision now, I'm scared of the decisions I'm going to have to make when Evan's in high school. I can only hope and pray that over the years we make the best decisions for Evan. So the next time you see me and half my head is full of grey hair, you know why!

Head Bangers Ball

As Evan gets older his behavior sometimes perplexes me. There have been several times that he's done something that catches me so off guard or comes out of the blue that I just stop and stare at him and wonder if he is from this planet. His latest odd behavior happens any time that he gets mad. He will find the nearest hard object, whether it be the tile floor, a wall, or my knee (yay me!) and start banging his head on it. And when I say banging, I'm not talking about light little taps I mean the kind that leaves little red circles on his head and sometimes light bruises. This is especially fun when we have to go out in public and people ask what happened to his head. How do you explain that your child has anger management issues and likes to inflict pain on himself without seeming like you've spawned a devil baby??

When he first did this I thought maybe it was on accident or he was just so frustrated he didn't know what to do. But after the 10th time I started to worry that something was really wrong with him. I mean who does that!?!? So, yesterday I took Evan in for his 15 month check up and decided to bring it up to his doctor to get her input. Much to my relief she said it was very normal for toddlers to do this and not to worry (easier said than done). She explained that Evan is realizing every day his independence and that he has a choice on what he can do, which doesn't always align with what John and I want him to do. Since his vocabulary only consists of a few words the only other way he knows how to communicate is through his actions. The doctor then asked if he gets a reaction out of me when he does start banging his head, which I replied yes to. I mean, I don't want him to knock himself out or do something even more serious like give himself brain damage. The doctor suggested that I ignore that behavior next time because all I'm doing is reinforcing negative behavior by giving him the attention he wants. She explained that after he sees that nothing will come out him acting that way and after he hits his head hard enough he'll stop doing it.

At that very moment a light went off in my head, and I felt stupid. Why didn't I think of this? And what else am I doing that is reinforcing bad behavior? Geesh, this parenting thing can be hard!!

As if Evan understood what the doctor told me, that night he decided to test me. I took him upstairs to give him his bath before bed like we do every night. However, he decided he didn't want to go to bed and wanted to still play, which brought on a monumental temper tantrum. As expected, he started banging his head on the bathroom tile all while crying at the top of his lungs. Normally I would have picked him up and tried to comfort him but Dr. Smart's words were ringing in my ears so I walked out of the bathroom and into the game room. As you can imagine that only made him more mad so he walked into the game room and threw himself on the floor and started banging his head again. So, I walked into his bedroom and didn't even make eye contact. This happened two more times before he decided to give up and just sit there and cry. Once he calmed down a little I got down on the floor next to him and explained that it was bath time and he could play tomorrow. What a difference that made! He calmed down and even crawled in my lap for a hug! To that I thought, maybe this parenting thing isn't that hard after all (I kid, I kid!)

I got the fever!

I thought it would take me a whole other year before I said these words, but I have baby fever! The weird thing is it just crept up on me like a thief in the night. One day I was wondering if I'd ever want to have a second child and the next I had this overwhelming desire to give Evan a little brother or sister.

I'm not sure why my feelings and desire on baby #2 has changed. Perhaps it's the crazy amount of women having babies right now. I feel like every day I see a picture on facebook or get an announcement in the mail of a new life that was brought into this world. Or maybe it's the fact that I've finally settled (as much as possible) into being a mom. Evan brings me so much joy and love that it's addicting and I want to keep the feelings around forever. It may also be the fact that I'm turning 31 in a few months, which is not old by any means, but when you start thinking about the length of time it can take to conceive added on top of the 9 months of pregnancy I'll be close to 32 or 33. And since my cut off age for having kids is 35, I feel Father Time tapping on his wrist looking at his watch for me. Especially if we want to keep a third child an option (right now it isn't, so everyone can breathe a sigh of relief).

I also started thinking that I want Evan close to his brother or sister and I really feel the more years between ages the harder it is to relate to one another. I know there are instances that will prove me wrong, but given my own personal experience I'm convinced of this. I'm also not a big fan of the newborn stage so would like to move past it as soon as possible while I'm a spry young thing (insert eye roll here).

John has been a fantastic father and seeing him interact with Evan melts my heart. I'll just be a big ol' pile of putty for baby #2 and I can't wait! So, we may start trying within the next couple of months and see if God will bless us with a second angel. Hopefully we will be so lucky!

Here are some pictures from our first family vacation, that I love.

Evan's first time in the ocean and he loved it

How cute is this!?! Love those boys!

Not the daddy!

I know that there is a time in every child's life where they prefer one parent over the other. I wasn't expecting that time to pop up as early as birth. Every since Evan was a newborn he has shown favoritism towards John. At first it was cooing or smiling for John unlike he did for me and I wasn't sure if I was imagining things or not (lack of sleep will do that to you). Now it is very obvious that he prefers John over me.

He will reach for John to hold him when I'm holding him. When John walks in the door his face lights up and he'll drop everything he is doing with me and crawl as fast as he can over to John like he hasn't seen him in years. I can't count the number of times I've offered him something and he's shook his head at me only to have him take it from John when he offers it. I find it endearing most of the time, but there are days when it hurts my feelings a little bit. After all, I am the one the carried him around in my bell for 9 months and gave up countless hours to breastfeeding in the middle of the night when he woke up. I'm not bitter at all….really!

The only time Evan prefers me over John is when he is sick. He only wants me to hold him and rock him to sleep. And even though when he's sick it's tough on us all, I love the fact that it's me, and only me, that he wants.

His preference of John reminds me of that old show that used to come on Friday nights called Dinosaurs. The baby dinosaur's famous line was "not the mamma!" and then he would hit whoever he was telling that too on the head. Evan has resorted to hitting me on the head quite yet, but if this keeps up that may be next.

I keep hearing how boys love their momma's and will always be momma's boys, so I'm waiting to see if that will be the truth our house. Either way I'll love him with all my might and hope he comes around to seeing who the real cool parent is….which is me!