I've been reading several pregnancy books and reading about the horrible side effects (if you want to call it that) that come with being pregnant, and since I haven't experienced really any bad effects yet I thought I might be able to skate right on by those horrible things and everything would be good. Well, I should have known that is not the way my luck goes and that I was bound to get hit smack dab in the face with something.
The first thing I experienced came last night, and I must say I am ashamed of myself for letting it happen but at the time I could do nothing about it. I've read about pregnancy hormones and how they can turn you into this awful three headed monster one minute, a crying babbling baby the next minute, and a happy clown the next. When I read this I kind of laughed at the thought because how could one person feel all those emotions at one time?? I experienced the two headed monster last night. It started as soon as I walked in the front door after being at work all day. I was greeted by that oh so wonderful aroma of dog poop....yes I did say dog poop! In the midst of kicking the dogs out and trying to clean it up I lost it and puked all over the dining room tile (yet another time I thanked the man above for tile). And it all went down hill from there.
I wish I could say it was on another inanimate object but it wasn't, it was on my husband. I felt this inner rage burning inside of me until he got home and then like some Twilight Zone Quentin Tarantino movie I totally lost it. I won't go into detail on how, as I am ashamed that this ugly side of me came out, but John was on the receiving end of pure wrath that I think his head is still spinning about. I have made mental note of this, and I will do my best to keep that beast inside of me from ever coming out again!
The second thing I experienced came this morning....and I must say is just as bad as the wrath of Robyn. Morning sickness! I haven't even had a twinge of morning sickness this whole time (unless you count my gag reflex that kicks in every time I brush my tongue now, weird I know!). I was at my desk at work talking to a coworker when the wave of nauseaness hit me so hard I instantly broke out into a sweat. It was so bad that I had to run to the bathroom and even in my speediness I saw people out of the corner of their eye looking at me like I had lost my mind. Little did they know I had the night before. I barely made it into the bathroom stall when I got to see what my breakfast looked like a second time that morning. Not fun! And what those pregnancy books don't tell you is that you just don't puke once and your good. Nope, instead the feeling resides with you for a couple of hours, even after you manage to pull yourself together enough to leave the bathroom.
And I have a feeling that some of my coworkers now have a pretty good idea that I am pregnant, because with my luck two other coworkers were in the bathroom while I was loosing my lunch (or breakfast, but you get the point). I haven't told anyone at work because I wanted to wait until my first doctor's visit and ultra sound to make sure everything is A-ok. Well, some of them know now! Either that or they think I partied too hard the night before which before this pregnancy wouldn't have been a conclusion that far off from the truth (especially with my love for a good bottle of Chardonnay).
Anyway, I'm hoping I can still manage to dodge the effects of pregnancy like those weird rashes they say can pop up on your body for no reason or the flatulence that you can't control or even those nasty stretch marks (which I don't think I'll be THAT lucky).
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