If I only had a brain!

I feel like lately I go through the day only functioning on the left side of my brain, or maybe just the right. Whatever side is NOT the dominant side of my brain is the side that is in control right now. I've heard people say that when you are pregnant you suffer from "pregnancy brain" or as my sister-in-law put it to me so eloquently one day, a baby will take your boobs and your brain from you! I thought that I may be able to skip this little side effect (as the devil on my left shoulder laughs) because for the first and most of the second trimesters I seemed to be doing quite well. In fact, I was really on top of things. I realize now that it was my brain rebooting from not having to slosh around in Chardonnay or Merlot every night, my favorite dinner and weekend drink.

I wish I could say that it was little things that I forgot that anyone could forget, but its not. For example, this weekend I met up with my friends for a girl’s lunch and decided to do a little shopping afterwards. I pulled up to the store and proceeded to go in without a care in the world. About 20 minutes later when I was leaving the store and walking out to my car, I started to dig around in my purse for my car keys. I couldn't find them and immediately started to panic that I had locked them in the car. I got out to my car and said a little prayer that the door would be unlocked and was pleasantly surprised that it was. Not only was my car unlocked but I realized I left the keys in the ignition and my car was running the entire time! I couldn't believe that I had just got out of my car and didn't even think to turn it off or anything! Thank goodness no one drove off in it and that I even made it into a parking spot.
I also forget conversations and important information at the drop of a hat. I've started keeping a note pad by me at work where I write everything down in fear that I'll forget something. The other day I was ordering a gift online and when it came to the screen where I had to put my billing address in, I couldn't remember our zip code. I'm ashamed to admit this, but I had to pull out my driver’s license and look at my address to remind myself of it.
Thank goodness the times when I've made big forgetful mistakes I’ve been by myself and can laugh at it, but I'm just waiting for the day I forget my name or forget to completely get dressed in the morning before going to work. The only thing I can liken my new pregnancy brain too is Alzheimer’s, which I'm beginning to wonder if I'm going to get that later on in life with some of the brain farts I've been having.
So, if you hear about some crazy pregnant lady on the news that almost got shot for walking into the wrong house thinking it was hers or that got taken to jail because they showed up at an office building and swore she worked there, just take pity on me and know that I'll have my brain back soon enough (at least I hope).

Must get sleep!

I thought I had gotten over the hump of being tired all of the time when I made it through the first trimester. It was almost like a magic spell was cast on me because as soon as I started the second trimester all my energy came back to me and I started to feel like my normal self again. Well, as normal as I could feel with a growing belly and my body going through changes that amazed me every day. I almost had this extra energy to get things done which came in handy with getting the nursery ready and the house cleaned :)

No sooner that I started to feel like I was on a roll and things were good; I start the third trimester and the energy zapping fairy has come to visit me once again to cast her evil spell on me. I have been so tired lately that by the time I get home from work I just want to collapse on the floor and not move. Last night the thought of putting away the dishes in the dishwasher made me so tired I had to immediately go lay down on the couch and not move for the rest of the night until I went to bed at 8:30. Yep, that's right 8:30! And that was pushing it I could have gone to bed as soon as I got home.

I'm writing this entry right now at work because I'm so tired that if I don't keep my mind and hands busy I might fall asleep at my desk sitting up. Of course the exhaustion could be from the fact that I get up at least 3 times a night to use the restroom and another 3 because I'm uncomfortable and need to swing my big ol' belly over because the side of my body that I've been lying on has either gone to sleep and is completely numb from my weight or my back can't take the pressure on it anymore. Even with my fortress of pillows around me I can't get comfortable enough to sleep the entire night through.

I think God has a woman go though this to prepare you for the newborn baby your about to have. I know that once Evan is here that there will be many sleepless nights and I'll be waking up every 2 hours or more, but at least then I'll be able to sleep on my belly and roll over without having to count to three and fling my arms to get the momentum going.

Too many choices, not enough time!

This past Monday on our days off from work John and I decided to go register for our baby shower items. Some of you may be thinking, how fun! I know I was. Unfortunately, it was the furthest thing from fun that I’ve experienced.

We arrived at the first location, Babies R Us, and sat down with the registration desk to give them our information and get the scanner to begin. As we sat there waiting for the lady to input all of our information we started looking around at the sheer magnitude of the store. For those of you that have never been in there, it’s about the size of a grocery store, maybe a little bigger, broke out into different sections like safety, furniture, clothing, etc. I couldn't wrap my brain around how one little baby would need all of the things this place had to offer. Before giving us our scanner the lady gave us a brief run down of everything and a first time registry list. I kid you not she told us there were bathrooms in the back of the store, along with water and Gatorade and mat's to stretch out on. LOL! John and I both looked at each other with a "what-have-we-gotten-ourselves-into" look.
I thought I had come prepared with a list of my own, along with some notes on the best and safest products that were bigger and would be used every day, like strollers and car seats. Boy was I wrong! Within the first 5 minutes of walking into the first section of the store, baby safety, I was lost. There are so many things this store had to offer that I didn't even know existed and to make matters worse, there were about 20 choices for each thing. Did you know that they make mirrors to put in your back window so you can look in your rear view mirror to make sure you baby is still alive in his/her car seat!?! I didn't, and it made me paranoid that I was going to be a bad mother because I didn't know this bit of information.
As we walked through the store it only got worse. Next came the bottle and pacifier area and words can't describe the holy mecca of options offered for those. How am I supposed to know if the baby will want a silicone or a latex nipple or a bottle that's straight up and down or one that has a bend in it?? I have never been more lost in a store in my life and John wasn't holding up that well either. All of the choices and uncertainty started to wear on both of us and we started to get short with one another, which didn't help matters.
A quarter of the way in, by the stroller section, all John and I could do was look at each other and laugh. I felt like I was in an episode of the Twilight Zone and everything around me was a foreign object I had never seen before. Thankfully that broke the tension between John and I and we decided to joke around the rest of the way through the store. We did finally finish registering and both of us were physically and mentally drained.
We then went on to Target to register, which almost felt like a cake walk compared to all the options Babies R Us had to offer. It was a little bit more enjoyable, but not much.
I went into it thinking this would be as fun as it was when we registered for our wedding shower items, but it was so far from it! When we were done registering at both places we went home and both laid down and took a long nap. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when Evan gets here, but I'm hoping the overwhelming, panicky feeling subsides a little by then.

A Whole New World

As my pregnancy moves into its third trimester, I am starting to realize I am in a whole new world. Not that I haven't felt this "new world" feeling before, but now it seems incessant. Before there were days that I would wake up and not feel pregnant and even times that I forgot I was pregnant (what can I say, you kind of lose your mind to the baby growing inside you!?!). Not anymore. My belly seems to get in the way of everything, but in a good way. The other day I was using it as table to rest my mug of hot chocolate on. Complete strangers feel compelled to ask me questions about the pregnancy like, how far along I am and what the sex of the baby is. Sometimes I like to have fun with them. The other day in my office building elevator a guy got on and started asking me how much longer I had to go. To make things interesting I asked him "how much longer to go for what?" He then clarified by saying with the pregnancy. I looked at him with the straightest face I could and said "I'm not pregnant!" The look on his face was hilarious. I quickly told him I was kidding, but enjoyed the fact that I've moved way out of the 'looking fat or bloated' stage to 'holy cow that woman is pregnant!' stage.


Baby Evan is moving around all of the time now. Before he seemed to have set times of the day, mostly later at night but now it’s all day. And it’s not the little flutters that it was before. Nope, now he is letting us know he is in there. One of my favorite things to do is to put something light on my stomach like my cell phone or sunglasses and watch it bounce around from his movements. There have been several times that he's kicked so hard that the phone or glasses have fallen off my belly. As I sit here and write this, Evan is practicing his dance moves with a kick and a spin here and there. It's a great feeling!

We also finally picked out a name, as you can see. Evan Lane Chilcoat. We pondered for months over several names and finally narrowed it down to our top 3. For a week we called the baby by a different name to see what sounded right. First it was Cullen, then Evan, then Landon. There was something about Evan that seemed to just fit. I really liked the fact that Evan is a form of John, and since John wanted a John jr. originally, he in a weird way got that. It also means young warrior, so hopefully that means our little Evan will be strong and healthy.

I'm counting down the days until little Evan is here and a different New World starts. Until then, I'll wander through this one and hope this heartburn and waking up at all hours of the night eventually subsides.

Me at 25 weeks

me at 26 weeks

Pics

Me at 23 weeks

Me at 22 weeks

Feeling It

Ever since my little stint in the hospital I feel like pregnancy is catching up with me. I used to be able to sleep through the night without second thought to my growing belly. Now, I have to build up a fortress of pillows so I can get a couple of hours of solid sleep. I have this ritual that not only cracks John up, but my little dog Casper too. I swear he stands at the end of the bed and watches me construct my fort with a snicker on his face. My nightly ritual consists of me taking my long squishy felt body pillow and putting it in the middle of the bed. Which means I can't snuggle up to John like I love to do. I then crawl in bed and take two king size pillows and line them down the outside of the bed. The final step of my bed time ritual is to take a throw pillow and put it under or between my legs. Then and only then can I think about getting some good zz's. I wish I could say I'm then set for the night, but about 2 hours into my sleep I wake for the first of many trips to the bathroom. Since I was in the hospital for a kidney infection any urge to pee has me running for the bathroom. I keep hearing the doctor's words of wisdom saying that a pregnant woman should never hold their pee since that can be one of the causes to a kidney infection. I feel like the kid in the movie Christmas Story that keeps hearing the words "You'll shoot your eye out" over the BB gun he wanted, except my haunting words are "You'll get another kidney infection." It makes me shiver just thinking about it.


I also had another side effect catch up with me, swollen feet. I start the day off with regular sized feet and ankles and as the day goes on, and I'm my feet more, the bigger they get. For a couple of days when I was first released from the hospital my feet were so swollen that I couldn't even wear regular shoes or socks. Thank goodness I had the week off for Christmas because I would have looked funny going into the office in my slippers. I almost feel like I'm looking down at the bride of Frankenstein's feet.

In fact, lately I feel like I'm looking at my body through one of those amusement park funny mirrors when I see my reflection. My belly gets in the way now more often than not. It's amazing the little things that are hard to do when you’re pregnant. For instance, putting on socks and shoes. To get my socks on in the morning I have to get on the bed and do a sideways lean while propping myself up on one of the hundreds of pillows on the bed. Or I sit on the side of the bathtub and prop my leg up and hope that I get my foot in the top of the sock on the first try. I do that on days I'm feeling lucky, it’s almost like a carnival game only it’s with my horrible balance and body. I don't remember the last time I wore a pair of my cute heels. I now opt for shoes that I can slip on and that are flat. Comfort before beauty is my new motto when it comes to shoes. I always heard that your feet grow when you’re pregnant but I thought that was a crazy wise-tale people told you to freak you out. Now I know that isn't true. I went from a size 9 to 9 and 1/2. I'm hoping my feet hold at that size because I already have long flipper feet as it is.

I also get tired easily when out and about. I used to be able to go on marathon shopping sprees and walk around stores and malls for hours at a time. Now, I'm lucky if I can make it an hour before wanting to sit down and relax. I can actually feel the weight of the baby inside of me. What's scary is the fact that I'm only 23 weeks along, and have 3 more months to go.

I will say the upside to being this far along is feeling the baby move all day. The baby is big enough now that John can feel him move and you can actually see my stomach move when the baby is on a kicking or punching fit. It's actually really cool, and a feeling that makes me feel warm and cheery inside. Every time I start to think these pregnancy "side effects" suck, I think about this wonderful blessing that will be here before we know it. I also get more massages and help around the house from John which is always a good thing.

Here's hoping these next 3 months go by smoothly. I know I will probably experience more unpleasant side effects but it's all in the name of love for baby Chilcoat and for him I'd go through hell and back.

An early Christmas present

I've been meaning to write about the early Christmas present John and I got about 2 weeks ago for awhile, but time and other things (see previous entry) has kept me from it. The days building up to finding out the sex of our baby were full of excitement and wonder. My thoughts and dreams were consumed with what the sex of our baby could be. At last December 10th came along, the day we had been waiting for, the day we were going to find out the sex of our baby.


Thank goodness I grabbed the first appointment of the day because I was up that morning long before the alarm went off. As John and I drove to the doctor's office we talked about what we thought the baby would be. We both were convinced it was a girl. We arrived at the doctor’s office 15 minutes early and as luck would have it, the sonogram tech was running 30 minutes behind. Those 30 minutes that we sat in the waiting room felt like hours. The nurse finally came out and called my name, and John and I walked back to the examining room with Texas size smiles on our faces.

What they don't tell you about the exam, is they measure your baby to make sure everything is developing properly first and tell you at the end of the sonogram the sex of your baby. As the doctor looked at each body part, assuring us everything looked good I could barely concentrate. I tried the best I could to focus, but in my head I wanted to scream "JUST TELL ME ALREADY!" To make matters worse John swore he saw the "part" as he called it and said it was a girl. The doctor said she had seen too, but wouldn't confirm or deny what John thought he saw. Then like music to my ears, the doctor turned and looked at us and asked if we were ready to find out what we were having. John and I grabbed each other’s hands and said yes with so much enthusiasm it made the doctor laugh. Just like Santa Clause she gave us an early Christmas present, we were having a BOY! John immediately dropped to his knees and tears came out of his eyes, which of course made me start crying tears of joy. The doctor then said she would give us a moment together to soak in the great news. John and I just sat there hugging each other laughing at the news we had just received. We were going to have a beautiful baby boy!

I immediately started thinking about having a sweet lil momma's boy. I've been told by several mothers and guys that the love boys have for their mom is indescribable. I had flashes of John throwing the football or baseball in the front yard with him. And of me putting a band aid on his knee from learning to ride a bike. My love for this baby tripled in a matter of one second. I cannot wait to meet him and kiss him for the first time.

Since finding out the sex of our baby we've been consumed with picking out a theme for the nursery and names. I used to think there weren’t cute things out there for boys, but I've now realized there are a million adorable things out there which makes it hard to decide on anything. Hopefully by the time baby Chilcoat is here we'll have a name and room for him. Until then, I'm still soaking in the thought of having a baby boy in the house very soon.

Sonogram picture confirming that our lil one is a boy (his man parts are circled) :)

Profile picture of baby boy Chilcoat