When I found out
we were having a second boy my mind filled with images of my two boys hugging,
playing nicely together, sharing a brotherly bond over a bowl of ice cream
while birds sang in the back ground. There may have even been the song "My
Best Friend" by Tim McGraw playing in the background. To say that reality
has been anything but that would be an understatement.
From the moment
we brought Logan home Evan made it very clear he was not as happy to be a big
brother as we thought he would be. In fact, one situation that will remain
engrained in my memory forever took place a month after we welcomed Logan into
the world.
After a couple
of days/weeks in a row of Logan crying (he had colic, something that left us
all on edge) Evan decided he couldn't take it anymore. As I was in our master
bath getting ready for my first dinner out with friends since having a big
juice (a nickname one of my nurses in the hospital gave to Logan because of the
sheer size of him). I had Logan on the bed propped up on pillows and he was
crying as usual. I was trying the best I could to get ready and tend to him and
Evan, when all of sudden everything went quite. I peeked my head around the
corner to see if Logan had cried himself to sleep when I saw Evan holding a
pillow over his head. I freaked out and lunged/jumped/physical flew over to the
bed to get the pillow off Logan's head. I was so freaked out that I screamed at
Evan and asked him what he thought he was doing. To which he replied "I
was making him stop crying!"
I didn't find
this funny at the time (I instantly had visions of the Good Son bouncing around
in my head), but now I can look back and laugh.
I wish I could
say that Evan's dislike for his brother stopped there, but it didn't. As the
months went by Evan would conjure up new ways to torture Logan. From taking
away his bottle while he was drinking it, to throwing his beloved blankie
across the room as he was cuddling with it, to pushing him down when he started
to walk. As you can imagine, this kind of behavior stressed me out to no end. I
read countless articles, books, and blogs over it and ever talked to our pediatrician
about it. All of which yielded the same result; boys will be boys and
eventually the will love each other.
After countless nights
of crying, wine, and grey hairs I'm starting to see a shift in their
relationship. They are starting to really play together. Evan will say that he
wants Logan to come with us on errands, and just the other day he told me Logan
was one of his best friends (picture my heart bursting into a million little
happy butterflies). Evan even took up for Logan the other day when he was in
the middle of one of his temper tantrums and told me to leave Logan alone and
then tried hugging him.
Don't get me
wrong, they still fight and I still feel like a referee half the time but the
tables are turning.
As the images of
brotherly love slowly creep back into my head, but on a much more real level I
can't help but think boys will be boys and they will love each other the rest
of their lives.
Evan showing Logan where he really wishes he'd stay
Brotherly Love
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